The One I Get Assaulted (And Lectured)

I wasnt sure i was going to talk about this because really, nothing serious happened. But it did happened and i've promised myself i'd be writing about the crazy things that happen to me here. Crazy good but also crazy bad.

Yesterday morning, i went to walk my dog, as i usually do in the morning, at 6:30am. Since there was lightning outside, i decided to take a small bag with my raincoat in it, in case it started to pour. I dont mind walking my dog under the rain but if i can avoid being drenched, it's better.


I was almost to the point i normally turn around to go back home (so after almost 30 minutes walking) when i passed not too far (but not too close either) from 2 guys. As i was passing them, one of them asked me where was the regional hospital. I briefly stopped to answer him and was on my way again. 


Half a second later, one of them was throwing himself at me, from the back, reason why i didnt see him coming cuz i dont have a built in rear mirror, and telling me to give him my bag. My bag was a tiny little pouch with 2 things in it: my house keys and my raincoat. 


Absolutely NOTHING valuable in it. 


Obviously he doesnt know that and unfortunately, i'm not the kind of person who just take it easy, bend over and tell him oh yes sure please help yourself. So i wrestled back, telling him that i have nothing in my bag. And the dumb ass telling me to calm down and stay still.


What was the other asshole doing? Telling him to stop. Dude, instead of telling him to stop, if it's really how you feel, do something about it. 


And then for no reason at all, and quite unespectedly, he let go off me. Without taking my bag. I didnt run away from him but was checking every few seconds if he wasnt following me cuz that would have been creepier than anything else (in my opinion at least). 


I was DYING to shout at him stuff that would be censored and most likely making Blogger close down my blog for being so rude and vulgar. And if i had had a gun, i would have shot that piece of disgraceful shit in the eye. 


And that's exactly what dear beloved told me HE could have done as well. For no reason at all. Shooting you if he had a gun just because. 


As soon as i got home, i obviously told dear beloved what happened and he was tactful enough not to mention all the mistakes i made. But he held them for the day after when he lectured me for about an hour about all the things i need to be careful about, check what people wear, the look in their eyes, who's close to me, who's far, what car they have, never talk to strangers and if we ever go live in Mexico City as we both would like to, if that ever happen, not to fight back and give them what they want. Even if it's just 30 pesos.


Everything material, even money, can be replaced. 
My life and safety cant.


I was majorly pissed at his lecture to be honest. I mean i've spent 33 years on this planet and i have never been attacked in my whole life. I've been walking my dogs at 6:30am in the morning for the past 5 years and nothing ever happened to me. 
What i think happened yesterday was that for the first time, i was carrying a bag while walking the dog. I normally dont do that. Ever. For that very reason. I'm wearing a passion killer sport outfit with my keys in my pocket and that's it. 


And that bag was temptation. Even thought it had nothing in it.


When i told a friend of mine about it, she said: oh my god, you must have been so scared. Well strangely, no, i wasnt. I get terrified by birds and dead animals but not by an insult for a human being who's trying to steal a woman walking her dog. What fills me up is a shooting to the roof anger, a feeling of complete helplessness and unfairness and a dangerous rage that could make me go beyond the point of no return (and get myself into serious trouble).


I think that if i do get robbed one day, i'll become some dangerous bitter revengeful person in killing mode. 
I dont think i could stand the unfairness of it all or the fact that the dump shit motherfucker who steal from me gets away with it.


I have thus decided to get myself a baseball bat and start walking my dog with it. 


Or a golf club ... or a hockey stick ... 


See if they dare ...

I Know What It's Called

I believe i have 2 big irrational fears i'm dealing with in my life: the fear of big birds and the fear of dead animals. Which are called Ornithophobia and Necrophobia.

Technically speaking, an irrational fear is called a phobia. Except that in my situation, phobia seems always a bit too extreme considering what i feel.

As you all know already, i have had this fear of birds since i was about 15 years old when a pheasant attacked me. Since then, i am dreading big colourful birds, pheasants of course topping the list but closely followed by peacocks, parrots and roosters. You can say whatever you want about these birds, that they have beautiful colors and stuff, it doesnt make them any less dreadful to me. If they are in their natural environment, i am ok. Seeing a parrot in a tree doesnt bother me (even though i will most likely keep an eye on it, just in case). But seeing a parrot swagging on the floor, or a rooster perched on a tree, i seriously start to freak out. Same if i have to walk pass in front of a parrot's cage. I dont mind pigeons, sparrows, crows or swallows as long as they're flying or in the trees. If they dare to get inside my house, it's panick attack.

Ornithophobia can cause the following symptoms: breathlessness, dizziness, excessive sweating, nausea, dry mouth, feeling sick, shaking, heart palpitations, inability to speak or think clearly, a fear of dying, becoming mad or losing control or a full blown anxiety attack.

As i said, it's not THAT bad but yeah, sweaty hands and heart palpitations, inability to think clearly if i have to get a bird out of my house or losing control are some of MY symptoms.

Now about necrophobia. This is what the dictionary says about it:

Necrophobia  is the abnormal fear of dead things (e.g., corpses) as well as things associated with death (e.g., coffins, tombstones). 

Symptoms include: shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, dry mouth and shaking, feeling sick and uneasy, psychological instability, and an altogether feeling of dread and trepidation. The sufferer may feel this phobia all the time, or only when something triggers the fear, like a close encounter with a dead animal or the funeral of a loved one or friend. The fear may have developed when a person witnessed a death, or was forced to attend a funeral as a child. Some people experience this after viewing frightening media.

To clear things up a little, i don't mind coffins, or tombstones or dead people. I am not scared of dying or scared of death either. I just truly mind dead animals. And i only feel it when something triggers the fear i.e. seeing a dead animal body.

Now my big question is, considering that a phobia only develops after a traumatizing event (the attack of the pheasant for my ornithophobia), what on earth did trigger my necrophobia? I havent witnessed an animal getting killed. I have had pets dying in my hands or arms but not been grossed out or scared and even digged a grave for them. So what has?

What i do know though, is that i can't stand watching an animal being abused or one that has been beaten to a pulp or one that is more than obviously unhealthy. I just cant. And that's what happened with that puppy dog i found in front of my house some time last summer. I just couldnt deal with it.

My "phobias" are not as bad as it could be. I once met a girl who's arachnophobia (fear of spiders) was so severe that she couldnt even touch or look at a picture of a spider. And my trypanophobia (fear of needles) never prevented me from getting blood samples or tattoes. 

Needless to say that "Birds" is for me the ultimate scary movie. And maybe i'm just understanding now why i've been so uneasy during the entire movie of "Black Swan"...

I guess we're all screwed up in our own peculiar ways ...