My Problems Are Not Yours

It's not that nobody ever has the same kind of problems that i DO have, it's just that my job implies problems that not every John Doe has. As you might know by now, my current job is actually divided in 3 parts: working the land, cleaning septic tanks and installing septic tanks (with all the civil engineering works involved). 

A few days ago, we had to plow some of our fields. It's that time of the year when you have inspectors checking that you've done what needs to be done at the time it has to be done so Anthony and I were both on our respective tractors and doing lines in the same field. The problem there was that day was that the soil was so very much in love with the tractor and my feet it made massive sticky blocks everywhere. So i had to stop every other line to scrape the dirt out (took forever to take it off my shoes because, as usual, i only take my boots when my regular working shoes are either soaking wet or covered in so much dirt i feel like i'm actually walking 50cm off the ground). 

Needless to say that we had some serious cleaning to do afterwards. Took me 2 hours to see the axletree of my tractor again!!

and you haven't see what it looked like from the back!

I don't know who invented the Karsher (a high-pression water hose) but it is an awesome invention. A very splashy invention but a great one nonetheless. Even if i had to use a hook, a pickaxe and my own hands to get rid of it all, let's be honest, the Karsher did a lot of the tedious job. But damn, i was covered in dirt from head to toes. With the misty rain to accompany me, it was one heck of a job to do. I was drained when i was done. Literally! 

But today was the apotheosis of my working day. For the first time ever, this morning, i got sent ALONE to empty a couple of septic tanks. It went pretty well to be honest, even though moving all those sucking pipes is heavy. I got to drive the shit truck on my own, did the hoovering, did the oohing and aahing with the pipes, even wrote the bills and the certificates. But what do you do when your truck is full? Well you go to the shityard to empty said truck.

That was the second time i was doing it on my own. But man, what a second time it was.

Not entering all the details of how to unload a truck full of shit in a gigantic tank, i can at least say that things need to be done in a certain order. And when you don't follow that order, well, shit happens. And damn did it happen.

When i opened the valve, it was Shitty Yellowstone Old Faithful in all its splendor. I got drenched in shit in a split second. It was phenomenal. It was spectacular. It was so amazing that i took a picture of my misery (after taking a second to get rid of my waterproof (but not shit-proof) vest).

obviously, the phone got some too!

Anthony laughed, my boss laughed and sent me home, my boyfriend didn't think it was funny and kept on complaining about how much i stunk. I took 3 showers: one fully dressed to rinse most of my clothes, and 2 after that and i still feel i'm stinky. It feels like that crap has gone right up into my earrings holes and every single one of my pores! 

This is the kind of magical thing that happens to you ONCE. Not twice, not 3 times, just that one time and i swear to god it's never gonna happen to me again. Order is a tall order now!

But you know what? I still think my life is awesome. Shitty for some part, but awesome nonetheless!

How was YOUR shitty day?

Epic Transport Fail

I must admit, i did suggest it. Meeting these French clients of ours at the airport cuz you know, they're French and i am too and i've been in touch with them since they arrived in Mexico a couple of weeks ago and blablabla. Seemed like a good idea at the time. So i was there, their flight made it on time, i put them in their van en route to their fabulous hotel 2 hours south and off i was to take my bus back home. 

I was half way through to the bus stop when i realized i didnt collect the sign i used to welcome them. So i had to run back to their vehicle just as it was departing to get it back. Oh, did i mentionned i was wearing heels? Cuz you know, i thought it'd be nice to dress up all nice and shit. So i had the great idea of putting heels this morning to go to work. Running is fun. Not with heels though.

Anyways, after my little run, i sat at the bus stop waiting for my bus back home. And i waited. And waited. And bloody waited some more. It was starting to get dark and i was starting to get pissed off. I should have taken the first bus back towards downtown and then hop in my regular Magisterio bus. But noooo. I know best. I know there is a bus that goes direct from the airport to just a few blocks away from my house.

After at least 40 minutes waiting, i stopped the next green bus i saw, asking him if he was passing through my neighborhoord, he said yes and off was i. Finally. 

Except that he wasnt passing through my neighborhood. Not even remotedly. He was passing through the next-door neighborhood which can be close enough unless you're in that particular bus which passes through the opposite end of my next-door neighborhood. 

I got off a dozen blocks away from home, i had to walk for that dozen blocks, with heels, on cobblestones streets, or sandy streets, with no sidewalk, it was pitchdark and not a single cab in sight.

I hated my life. My feet are full of blisters now. The only thing that didnt happen was that i didnt break a heel. I'm home more than one hour later than normally. 
I badly need a foot massage.

I will never wear heels again.
Or take that green bus.
Or be a dumbass.
Ever.

I'll try at least ;-)

The One When We Got Our Passports Stolen

2 years. That's what i had been waiting for to go on this vacation. 2 years and it went all down the drain in Mexico City Airport when all of the sudden, neither me nor Dear Beloved had a passport anymore. And it happens so fast that it's literally one second, you're excitingly getting ready to do your check-in and the next, you're not going anywhere anymore cuz you cant get out of the country.

We had enough time in Mexico City to actually have arranged to meet with his family for lunch before heading to France. Oh yeah. In order not to carry around our suitcases, we decided to go check them in at the Aeromexico counter. And being the 21st century, you need to do that at the automatic check-in booth first.

I've never been a bright bulb with these machines so i asked the host to give me a hand, put all my paperwork (passport included) on the little stand under the screen and did my stuff. Dear Beloved took the screen next to me to do his thing as well. And off we were to the counter to register our suitcases. Except that i realized when we made it to the waiting line, that i had left the little case with everything on that damned little stand under the screen.

I ran like hell already picturing the host telling me, yes miss, here it is but when i got back to the check-in counters, he said that nobody reported anything.

At that particular moment, it's like the Earth is opening up under your feet and you fall and fall and fall endlessly. It was the end of the world. For me at least. Dear Beloved, of course, remained calm as a crispy lettuce which allowed me to break down completely, crying my eyes out in the middle of the airport. 

His dad, sister and uncle came to the rescue and if anything, i livened up their day. I probably cried more than they'd ever seen in their entire life. But anyways.

Changing our flights was so expensive that we were left with no other option than to cancel our trip altogether. I called my parents at 1 in the morning for them to announce them the awful news and to cry some more. Needless to say that they were so disappointed but hey, i didn't lose them on purpose. End of it all, in that worse case scenario, it happened in the best conditions. We were in Mexico City, where Dear Beloved's family lives, in a country we both live in, in a capital where there is a French Embassy and endless options to keep us busy. Might as well make the best of a bad job.

I knew one day i'd blog about it. I mean, seriously, who else has adventures like this? I knew deep down that there was a bigger reason for me not to go to France that day. Everything does happen for a reason. But at that very moment, i could have killed someone.

Now replace the first paragraph with the following:

Did you take a black case with 2 passports inside at one of Aeromexico's check-in counters in the Terminal 2 of Mexico City's airport on August 27th?

And obviously, signing my name.

Just reading this out loud already makes me feel better.

I Drove My New Car

A month after i got my new car, i finally drove it. Yesterday evening. To go to the ATM 3 blocks away from home.

I like to call it mine. That's what the papers are saying. The car, the loan, the insurrance, everything is under my name. But Dear Beloved drives it. Not me. And it's the most awesome car ever. 

So yesterday evening, i finally did drive it. And it was an orgasmic experience.

Except that ... it's such a fancy car i couldnt find the AC, it bipped like crazy because i turned it on before i put my seat belt on, the side mirrors are automatic and it's like vuuuuut, vuuuuuuut when they turn, the doors unlock with a remote and with a meeeeek sound, you cant turn on the engine unless you step on the clutch, there's a bip if you exit the car with the lights still on ...

And it smells new.

I've never ever even SAT in such a bad ass car.

I wish i could drive it more often!

PS: and yes, THIS is a picture of the car we have. How awesome does it look?

What Was I Thinking??

Grocery shopping? On December 23rd? At Walmart? At 8:00pm??


What in the world was i THINKING??

Crossing the parking lot should have been a pretty clear sign that the entire ordeal was going to be painful. 

I had to wait to get a kart (never happened to me before), i didnt find half of what i came for in the first place, i had to pull all my strength to keep my kart from kocking someone down, i had to wait an insane amount of time at the cash register to pay for my stuff and was 4th in line for a cab to take me home.

I will never EVER go to Walmart during Christmas time.

EVER.

Lesson learnt.

Cat Bite

A good deed doesnt always pay off.

This morning, i saw one of my cats in the tree right outside the house. Since he was meowing like he truly needed my help, i called him down and decided to carry him back inside the house (so he wouldnt have to run for his life if ever my dog spotted him).


Well that was without counting on Lola (my dog) jumping that damn high. 


As soon as she spotted me with the cat in my arms, she threw herself at me and even my knee wasnt keeping her away. I was almost at the window where i first intented to throw the cat inside the house when she actually managed to jump high enough to bite the cat on the back leg.


My cat Yeti is not the kinda cat that takes that kinda crap without reacting so he obviously was more than eager to fight back. Problem is: he wasnt fighting back the dog but me. 


So i got scratched on my face (not fun) and got bitten on my hand.


I swear it hurt up to my soul. 


He left 3 bite marks: one for his lower teeth and 2 with his upper fangs.


And as i said, it hurt like mother fucking HELL.


Wounds were so deep they actually bled for a couple of hours. It amazed me how such incredibly small wounds can hurt that much. I mean seriously.


But what worried me more was the following morning when my hand had turn a nice shade of red and was twice its normal size. I had no idea cats were venomous.


Since that swell got me seriously worried, i went to the doctor to check it up. When i told him my cat had bitten me, he smiled and told me: people always come for cat bites, almost never for dog bites.
And why is that? Simply because a dog bite stays open so it's easier to clean and it dries quicker. Whereas a cat bite goes deeper (thanks to needle sharp teeth) and closes almost instantly, keeping all the venom bacterias inside with no way out.


As the doctor said, back in the days, we would have needed to cut open to clean the wound but thanks to the wonders of modern medicine, we can now use drugs to sort it all out. Drugs such as penicilin which has been used in the treatment of bacterial infections caused by organisms. 
Which is perfect to fight cat's venom.


Bottom line, if i'm ever stupid enough to try to "save" my cat from my dog, it's better to get bitten by the dog  than by the cat. And as my doctor nicely put it: your cat is more than capable of handling that kind of situation with the dog, he also runs faster than the dog and will most likely NOT get hurt if you dont get involved.


Well, screw the cat ... he's on his own from now on!

That is SOOO not my cat and dog. But if only ....

Yep, this is more like this ... Except that both mine are white ...