The Ash Cloud

Something a bit unusual happened today at work. We were all standing on the pier, checking people in for their tour when all of the sudden, something weird started falling off the sky. We all noticed at the same time and the first words that came out of our mouths were:
WHAT THE FUCK?

It's only after a few seconds of this unexpected "rain" that we realized it was SOOT. I mean what is wrong with your funnel you guys? Do you have to do it now? I mean it's covering everything like a rain of ash. And there are no volcanos close by, less of it all one erupting.

Bloody little pieces of soot go everywhere. In your hair, in your eyes, in your nose, on your clothes, in your bag, every-fucking-where. I even found some in my bra when i got home and took a shower. I mean i dont hang out on the pier in my underwear! How the hell did that got in there?

The shore excursion manager of the ship called the bridge to ask what was going on and he got the following answer:
"- oh, we're sweeping out the funnel ... why? did anybody complain?
- well yeah, the operators are complaining and i am complaining too!
- oh, if it just the operators and you than we dont care it's ok"

So i only have 2 words for this guy:

FUCK
YOU

Now that my entire stuff is covered in fucking soot cuz you decided to clean your funnel in port instead of at sea, what am i gonna do? Sending you the dry cleaning bill?

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!