Thursday, March 03, 2016

My Rainbow Friends

I have gay friends. It's actually an understatement, i have tons of gay friends. When i was living in Mexico, most of my closest friends were gay. I wasn't making an effort for this, I don't know, i seem to naturally attract gay people. And the reason behind this is that it probably shows that whether you're gay or straight, or Black, or White, or Latino, a girl, a boy, tall, short, fat, skinny or riding a unicorn, i couldn't give a bigger fuck. I mean that has GOT to show somehow. 

In Mexico, and in Puerto Vallarta in particular (gayest Mexican destination apparently), people don't seem to mind gay people. At least, it didn't seem that way to me. I remember on my last job, two of my colleagues came out to me (separately) and i guess my answer to both was "ok, and?". I mean, really, does you being gay change something to the story you're telling me right now? Because a) i knew already and b) it doesn't make any difference. Not to me anyway. If i liked you before, chances are i'm still going to like you afterwards.

Same when a French friend of mine i found out on FB after years without any news from him wrote me back with a rather aggressive tone (or so it seemed in his mail) that he was gay and there, i had it. So i answered him in what i hope was a nice way by saying that he could very well be and do whatever the hell he wanted, i was just happy to have news from him and that was all my message was about. I wasn't fishing for intimate details of his personal life. I think it kinda shock him a bit. I mean, me being so accepting.

That's only when i got back to France and talked about it with my man that i realized (or was made to realize) that not everybody is like me, oh dear, far from it, and that in France in general, it is still quite a taboo. Something people try to avoid mentioning and if they really have to, always do so reluctantly and/or despisingly. 

Well to me, this behavior is shocking.

End of it all, gays are just human beings. Sometimes, yes, they do fall into the stereotypes of the drama queen and the truck driver but seriously, seeing a guy (OK a drag) wearing 25cm heels and dancing in them better than i can ever do with flats should put everybody in their rightful place.

I love my gay friends (as much as i love my straight friends). I remember one day, one of them told me that it was so relaxing for him to chat with me cuz i wasn't making judgements on anything he'd ever say. As i told him, well, if you ask my opinion about something, i will give it to you even if i know it's not what you'd like to hear. But i believe that's what friends are for. You'll always find tons of people ready to criticize your every move, so for me, being a friend is to stand by you. Period. I'm not saying that you should blissfully agree on everything your friends do or say, sometimes, everybody needs a little reality check, but your sexual orientation will never have anything to do with how i feel about you.

And i believe that as long as what your neighbor does with his/her life doesn't affect your life, your liberty and your safety/health, then why the heck should you care about it?

I understand that it must be so hard for people to come out. And i'm sorry to say that my homecountry of France is no exception to this. It shouldn't be that way. You don't decide one morning that oh, nice weather, let's be gay today. No. It's like your eyes color or your skin tone. You're born that way (no pun intented and no Lady Gaga quote either even if the song is stuck in my head now ...) It broke my heart last year when, at a friend's gathering (class of ... kinda reunion, 15 years without seing eachother for the most of us), my previously mentioned gay friend was never asked how his life was going. I mean we all knew he's gay. It's not a disease, it's not contagious. I was the only one sitting with him and asking him, so how's life going for you? Your travels, your job, your love life, you're seeing someone? Oh, you mean that guy i always see yourself pictured with is not your man but a friend, ok, cool. Sorry you had your heart broken last year, the right guy will come up, just like for the rest of us ;) Everybody wants to be accepted. And asking him the same questions i asked my girl friend some time prior was a natural for me. And i can say that he was only too pleased to answer me.

sorry couldn't help 3:) jijiji


  1. I love you so much! I will always remember when you came with me when I took my first hiv test (negative thanks god) how nervous I was and the hug you gave me when I came out of the doctors office, love you sister ! MD

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