Monday, March 21, 2011

I'm A Slave Trader Capitalist Farmer

Except that i have no employee to work to death since i'm the only one actually "working" there.

What in the hell am i talking about?
I'm talking about the biggest addiction ever in the virtual world: FARMVILLE.
 
A few months ago, my dear friend Nahomi kinda begged me to open my farm because she was missing just a few extra neighbors to pass level or to get her farm bigger or whatever. Back in the days, i had stopped playing Zoo World (where i never got the giraffe i wanted so bad then), or Happy Aquarium, or Happy Island (being drained in the addiction's abysm of both of these by the same Nahomi). To make it simpler, i had stopped getting online Facebook. For my own safety and sanity.

One of my ex being a Farmville farmer, i knew what the game was about and i knew i'd get hooked up to that shit in no time.

Nahomi is indeed a very convincing person when she needs something and she dragged both myself and her husband in the process. Needless to say i didnt just started a farm to help her get one more neighbor. I got completely hooked in the process and started exchanging tips with her and some more neighbors i got quickly. To the point that i now have a bigger farm than she does, twice as many neighbors as she does and probably spend twice the time on it as she does.

Welcome to the sweet world of the worst addiction ever: video games!

There is however, this massive difference between me and her. She was like that when we both had an island and an aquarium. She arrages things so it looks nice and neat. I dont.

I mean my farm looks neat and there are no trees or animal all over the place. But i dont buy decoration shit that is only space consuming. Every single thing i have on my farm, makes me money. If it doesnt or i dont have room for it and it's not rewarding enough money-wise, i get it from my neighbors and sell it right away. Like the chickens for example. I mean a chicken gets you 12 pesos - yes i count in pesos i live in Mexico - but i can only fit 80 in the chicken coop. Well too bad, every time i get a chicken from a mystery egg, i sell it. It gets me 20 pesos but i keep the room for something else that can get me more cash.

So when people send me flower bouquets or fancy fence or whatever dust-catcher they can find, i get it and sell it. Right away. I want stuff that makes money. Nothing else.

And since i now have the biggest plantation that is currently available, 723 plow-able squares and pretty much every single tree that is available for sale in the market, i am now shooting for the moon and trying to get ALL the masteries of ALL trees and seeds.

How long is it gonna take?
Forever.
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing.
It's capitalism at its best.

Production production production.

Will i get a reward at the end?
Most likely not.
Do i look like i care?

I have entered another dimension of players by asking complete strangers to be my neighbors so i can speed up passing levels. I get tons of stuff in no time. It is actually getting exciting.
Now if you'll excuse me, i have some serious harvesting to do.

Friday, March 18, 2011

I've Been Raped By A Mosquito

This morning i woke up with a major itch in the crotch area and when i checked where the itch was coming from, i realized that i had a mosquito bite on the INSIDE part of my lips down there.

I mean SERIOULSY mosquito? Amongst all the real estate surface that is available (and easily accessible when i'm asleep) it had to be THERE? And i mean, what a fierce mosquito it was, i sleep with a 6ft tall man and 2 cats. Do you think one of them would have done something to help? Nah. I feel truly offended and totally let down :(

I know i sleep naked but i do cover myself and there are some more accessible spots for blood. And some way more respectable places to scratch all day.

Vinegar, lemon and all those home-remedies to control the itching, in that particular area, no thanks. And every time i go to the bathroom, i get to scratch it "bien a gusto".

This is the first time this ever happen to me. I really hope it's the last!



PS: damn, the more i look at that mosquito picture, the more i think this is one of the grossiest animal ever. Wakala.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

6 Signs You're Dating An ALPHA FEMALE

She's on top of her dating game. She is obstinate, conceited and doesn't make it easy for you to pick her up. She gives you a run for your money and makes you work overtime on her, so to speak. But all this only makes her more appealing to you. She is, in other words, the quintessential "alpha female."

The alpha female has an uncanny ability to make men chase her. Her talent is very distinct from that of the "alpha male," a man whose aptitude for chasing women is finely tuned. But the alpha female's talents are special, and consequently, chasing her might be your biggest dating challenge yet.

So how can you tell if she's an alpha female? Below are six dead giveaways along with strategies to deal with her sneaky alpha tactics. In addition to the tips below, there is only one more thing you need to remember when pursuing a woman who knows her way around the dating game: Keep your cool. An alpha female can smell fear.

1. She acts unimpressed by your romantic gestures

An alpha female is used to men chasing her, so don't be surprised if clich gifts like flowers and chocolate don't impress her. Remember this: Her expectations are higher than most women's, so you will have to be a little more original to get her attention.

How to counteract it: Try writing her a personalized letter and leaving it on her windshield, for example. Or make her lunch and bring it to her at work. Whatever it is, be different.

If she still acts unimpressed, do continue to make kind gestures, but don't go overboard. This type of woman is used to men going crazy for her, and you will stand out more if you can keep your cool.

2. She continues to date other men

Clearly, she doesn't want to commit. The alpha woman always has several men on the go and likes to keep her options open.

How to counteract it: The only way to deal with her wandering eyes is to do the same. In other words, fight fire with fire and continue to date other women until you discuss otherwise.

How to handle her if she never calls you back, always insists on paying her share, is demanding, and more...

3. She's hard to reach

The alpha female is a busy woman, or at least she is very talented at making you believe that. She likes to have you at her beck and call and wants you to work around her schedule.

How to counteract it: Don't become the last-minute, just-in-case guy -- that won't earn you any respect in the long term. Make sure she realizes that you have your own commitments by not working entirely around her schedule. Do continue to pursue her if you think you have a shot, but be casual when you call. And definitely don't call more than twice before she calls you back.

4. She insists on paying her share of the bill

If she always insists on going Dutch, she might be pulling one of her fancy alpha tricks. Why? Because if you never treat her, she'll never owe you anything. Nada.

How to counteract it: Continue to offer to pay on dates, but if she seems adamant about paying her share, don't insist. If you want to avoid the whole awkward bill-splitting moment, tell her you'll take her to your "secret spot" and bring along a picnic to surprise her.

5. She is demanding

She continuously asks you for favors and you are eager to do them for her. Sound familiar? The alpha female is used to having men pursue her and give in to her every whim. But as tempting as it might be to jump every time she tells you to, do not allow yourself to become her puppy dog.

How to counteract it: Keep your dignity and do only what you feel is within reason. You will earn yourself far more respect in the long run if you don't jump through all the hoops she sets out for you.

6. She is sarcastic and condescending to you

If she constantly talks down to you and makes rude or mocking remarks, you need to defend your honor and fight back with equally witty comments. You never know what the alpha female might say, so you always have to be "on" and ready for verbal combat.

How to counteract it: Use a negative hit only when absolutely necessary (something mildly but not overly insulting). This will throw her off balance and threaten her feelings of control. However, if your exchanges are consistently negative and disrespectful, you're probably better off moving on; you shouldn't have to put up with her abuse.

>>become the alpha male

Make one important distinction clear in your mind: An alpha female might not call you back very often and she may date other men, but she will show you strong, intermittent signs that she is interested to encourage you to continue pursuing her. Do not mix this up with a woman who is showing few or no signs that she's interested. In other words, know when to stop trying and walk away.


 
Do i need to comment on this?? ;)
 
 
Yeah, didnt think so!

Sunday, March 06, 2011

I Am Officially Obsessed

with Lady Gaga...

Not groupie-obsessed, not obsessed to the point i want to stalk her and go to every single of her concerts or wait outside her hotel room all night to see a glimpse of her or collect every single piece of Gaga thing i can find, not obsessed with her videos or her outfits, just obsessed with her music to the extend that i dont really want to listen to anything else.

But i do like the way she dares wearing a meat dress ...

I mean seriously, who does that?

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Aie Aie Aie

... me duele
Aie, aie, aie, una ambulancia
Aie, aie, aie, me muero ...

Ok maybe it's not that bad but i've always loved being a bit dramatic.


And yes this is pretty much what i look like right now ... the only difference is that i'm not wearing a bathrobe but my BF's extra large sweat pants and sweater, but the nose, the expression on the face and the tissues all over the place, oh yeah, so like me - you dont want to see an actual picture of me, it'd be too scary ...

 Even though to be truly honest, i've been dying in bed since sunday (so 3 days now), already missed 2 days of work, and no, it's no fun.

What is is with me this time? A friend of mine told me i'm a medical miracle since i'm dying of something pretty much once a month. So what is it this time? I have the flu. Not the H1N1 like my father asked, just some normal mexican flu ... and the flu means coughing, sneezing, fever and body aches. 

Coughing and sneezing, being an asthmatic and allergic to pretty much everything (last thing to join the list is aspirin!), i'm kinda used to it. So no real big deal there. Not fun but no big deal.
Fever, not fun.
Body aches, not fun.

Fever: you sweat, then you're freezing cold in your soaky wet shirt or sheets and then you're sweating some more, and shiver some more ... yeah, not fun.
Body aches: oh my god. I mean last time i remember being in such a huge amount of pain was the day after my first squash lesson. And that was mainly the legs that were sore. 
But like right now, my ENTIRE body is in pain. It feels like i've been run over by a bus, or a train, or both, or bit the crap out of with base ball bats. Either way, so not fun.
I mean even my scalpt hurts!  

I know the pain will still be there tomorrow but i am so going back to work. One more day lying in bed and i might lose it.