Blue

I feel blue. I've felt like that since yesterday afternoon/evening. I am tired. It's been raining for 3 days which doesnt help my mood. Neighbor's dog is about to receive a bullet in between its two eyes. By me. Gimme a gun. Now. I've been assaulted and invaded by giant flying ants (true story). I felt in the mud. Again. Mangos are rotting in my garden. I hit a monster giant cockroach 4 times and it's still flying around. I mean the motherfucker is the size of my palm almost. Gross. I dont like flying things. I wish i were away. I wish i wouldnt have to deal with people. I wish i could sleep for 3 days straight. I urgently need to walk my dog. And clean my house. And buy new tennis shoes. I want to take E again. I want to want to laugh again. I feel empty inside. And over-filled at the same time. I want someone in my life, so i can get laid on a regular basis and i can cuddle in the middle of the night. I'm hot. I'm cold. I miss my little brother so bad. And my dad. And my best friend. I wish i had answers to my questions. I wish i'd know the questions. I must paint my house. And empty all the boxes. I must make this place a home. Soon. I'm having weird disturbing dreams. And more disturbing thoughts in the morning. I want a terrace. And a hammock. I've read one of the books my mom sent me in 45 minutes. I think i'm gonna read Harry Potter again. And wish i had a magic wand. I got my period. I'm all over the place.
I need a hug.

I am blue.

But i got an awesome new tattoo ...