Sunday, December 18, 2011

Is It What It Feels Like?

To die i mean ... I've been pretty sick since Friday but yesterday went to a whole new level so i went to see my doc. He said it was just a flu virus and that i should be fine by taking that Xango juice every hour (it's Charlie Sheen's tiger blood, i mean i can i not feel better with it??)

So i did what a good patient does and took my shot of juice every hour on the hour. 
I was still coughing my lungs out and even though i was using my inhalor every now and then to ease the breathing, i was still struggling for air.
But when the coughing got so bad that i actually puked on my way to the burger place round the corner, i knew i had a long night ahead of me. And how right was i!

I went to bed early, didnt even hear Dear Beloved coming to bed. But i had cough attacks pretty much every hour so i was keeping him awake. So not only was i barely able to breathe (and consequentely barely able to sleep) i was also mortified to keep him awake as well.

At around 3 in the morning i woke up soaked in sweat, changed my shirt and try to sleep again only to wake up again at 4 with the worse cough attack i've had so far. My entire body was hurting (like i'd been run over by a truck and damn driver had come back t finish the job), i was so exhausted i could barely cough, yet i was struggling for air and feeling like puking everytime i was coughing. Soaked in sweat again, i dragged myself to the bathroom and started coughing and coughing like a terminally ill lung cancer patient.
I was terrified i was going to die. And jeez what a terrible way to go i thought. I managed to call Dear Beloved to the rescue and even though he couldnt really do much, just having him here holding my hand and rubbing my back made a hell of difference. And i thought, if i die now, at least, i wont be alone. 

You know how sometimes men can tremendously lack tact? Well, I was so glad he didnt laughed or rolled his eyes when i told him i was scared i was gonna die there in my bathroom. He just said soothing words, told me that everything was gonna be ok and held my hand until i stood up again.

It's now 12:30pm, i'm having breakfast. I just got up. Dear Beloved is still sleeping but i mean he got up at 7am to take care of the dogs and i'm so grateful he was there so i could pass out a little longer. I dont feel great but i hope it'll get better soon. I dont want to spend another night like this.

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