Apart from the fact that I've been exercising like crazy lately in order to get a killer body i might be able to brag about some day, i'm also currently in another dimension of pain: emotional pain. And the worse part of it is that it's not because of something that has happened to me, it's because of something a very close friend is going through.
Out of respect for him, i will not explain what's the matter with him and his life. But he's about to hit rock bottom and there is not much i can do for him unless he allows me in. I wrote him this long and maybe a bit harsh email explaining him the way i felt about it all. I told him things he probably didn't want to hear but I've always believed the truth is better to a lie and more than often, a true friend is gonna be that one person who dares to hurt your feelings for you to hear what you need to hear, and not just what you want to.
As i told him, i believe real friendship is like holy matrimony, for better or worse, in sickness and in health and that is truly the way i feel for him. I don't care what he's done or might be doing, don't care if he's healthy or sick, wealthy or poor. I don't care either if i'm the only one standing by his side in front of a million people. What i care for is him.
But about it all, i really truly hope that he knows all this. That no matter what, i'll be there for him. Now, and always.
It's in times of sorrow and despair that you see who your true friends are. I don't want to be that person who's only there when it's all nice and good. This is just not who i am.
I've always been good at being insensitive and somehow detached of human's emotions hence being rather gifted at cheering people up in that objective and rational way. If you're looking for a comfort blanket, i'm definitely not the right friend for you. But if you want a person who's not afraid to maybe hurt your feelings with the truth, then you've come to the right person.
I never meant to hurt him and if i did, i'll be sorry for quite some time. But what bothers me is that his pain, his frustration, his anger and his despair are hurting me too. I feel them like they were my own. I don't think I've ever felt this way before. This new person i'm becoming is wreaking havoc in me. I'm not used to this.
So until i know how to manage all this, i just hope he'll reach out to me. I'm just offering a helping hand. And all that my heart has to offer.
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