Thursday, December 15, 2016

Tattoo And Scar

A few years ago, I decided to go for my 3rd tattoo and I wanted it to be, just like the other 2 I had already, meaningful. I wanted something that wasn't hype back then, I wanted a henna design, but made with real ink, and one with a special meaning. 

I said it before, I'll say it again, Internet has yet to fail me and I looked for a design I actually liked and investigated the meaning it had. And I found one, one that women normally had applied on their feet, on their wedding day, in order to celebrate their new married woman "condition". Not too sure if I'm being very clear but in a fewer simpler words, it means: I'm married or better, I'm getting married, woohoo, let's celebrate.
Since I was newly single after 12 years of being in 3 long relationships back to back, I thought that yeah, that was a nice way of celebrating my new "condition",not as a married woman but as a single one. Yeah, I know it may sound paradoxical to use that particular design for the complete opposite of what it's supposed to be meaning but 
a) i do what i want, 
b) unless i tell people, nobody knows what that design means (not in my circle of friends anyway!) 
and c) as i said, I do what the fuck i want.

Since I wasn't gonna do it on the foot ... I'll be honest here, I currently have close to a dozen tattoos and there is no way on earth I'll have one on one of my feet. I'm a wuss, I know it'll hurt like motherfucking hell and there is no way I'll do it there. Period. So since I wasn't gonna do it on my foot, I've decided for a more, let's say, private area: my pelvis. I thought that hey, I'm celebrating my condition as a single woman, might as well put it in a place close to a very private woman area. I don't know if I'm making myself understood but I know what I mean. I'm twisted. I have weird ideas. What can i say?

Anyway, being a wuss on the foot area ... well, should I have known better. Waxing is already a bitch pain-wise, tattooing your pelvic area, yeah, well, bad idea. It's painful like you have no idea. During the entire hour I had it done, I kept on thinking: what the heck was I THINKING?

But the result exceeded my expectations:

Fast forward a decade later almost and I'm pregnant and about to give birth. Except that I ended up having a c-section. And even though it's a surgery and you're under anaesthesia, it's only half your body which is numb hence you can actually chat with the surgeon. Not that you really want to (especially since I was struggling to stay awake and that, well, he has to get the baby out of you being careful not to bleed you to death).
Anyway, the surgeon told me in a "I'm-so-sorry" voice that he had to cut right in the middle of the tattoo. Above would be too high and under would be too low. I told him not to worry since I honestly couldn't care less at that point but he apologized a few times after that.
When he came visit the following day, he apologized again about having to cut my tat right in the middle and said: you can ask your tattoo artist to retouch it once it's healed. And I thought, yeah, well, nope, not happening. Not only does that particular body part hurt like hell to tattoo but my tattoo artist is in Mexico and also, tattooing a scar can be tricky. A lot of tattooers won't accept doing it: the skin's a different texture, the ink might not stick and I don't even want to think about the feeling.

Since pretty much every hospital staff who came check my c-section scar mentioned about the tattoo retouching, I realized a few things.
First of all, yeah, my beloved tattoo would be altered by a scar and I honestly didn't care. It's not that I had that scar made for nothing, it was to deliver my baby and I would have "pay" a way higher price would have I needed to.
But the biggest reason why I will not have it retouched is because this particular tattoo was initially a celebration of my new "condition" as a single woman. It's a girl power tattoo. In my eyes at least. And now it's been modified by a c-section scar. It's yet another condition as a woman who has now become a mother. What cooler way of adding meaning to it? There is no way I'll ever have it redone. 

And honestly, the surgeon did one hell of an awesome job!

Why would I want to retouch it? It's PERFECT now. Just as it was perfect on day one.


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