Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Unemployment or What you do with that much time on your hands

I am unemployed ... it's been 3 weeks ... OK, no, i'm not technically unemployed since i do belong to the paycheck list of a company, but this company doesn't currently have a job for me ... So what does that make me? In french, we call it "chomage technique" - technical unemployment. JA. I will NOT brag nor complain about my current situation, out of the thousands people who are experiencing this very same situation thanks to mass paranoia over a tiny little piggy virus (which have killed 80 people in my new home country of Mexico compared to thousands of people who die each year in supposed first world countries of curable diseases such as the traditional oh-so-well-known flu - guess if it's not swine, it doesnt count in the stats), i have it better than most. If it's not about the money than what is it about?
It's about how much free time i have now! An insanely high amount of time. In a country where you work 6 days a week, 10 hours a day, all of the sudden, having 5 days of nothingness a week, it kinda creates an undescribable weird feeling of emptiness. And that's without even talking about the frustration and the despair i've been feeling as well. Wonder what people do with their time ... Get ready for a big massive baby boom next february! :D i know for sure what my neighbors do ... bloody telenovelas all day or banda music full volume. Guess we all have different tastes !
Since i dont own a TV, i have other addictions to take care of ... my dog, my plants and internet. When i say internet, i mean gossip news, youtube, online games and the worse of them all - personality tests. I mean i've tried them all. From how bad i am (FYI, they figured out i'm bad to the bone) to the capitals of the world or what bad ass heroe i am ... i have done them ALL. Amazingly, i'm a pro in the capitals of the world (when i really thought i sucked in geography, i realized i am pretty damn good at it!) and it is just easier to say i'm the best at everything else i've tested myself in ... I'm the most perv person, the worse bad ass person, a dirty mastermind and in the 100 official purity questions - where they ask you how many creepy, wild, are-you-out-of-your-freaking-mind stuff you've done in your sex life, i shamelessly answered yes to 92% of them (oh dear).
My sex song - "sex bomb" by tom jones really made me laugh, what song represents me best would be "break the ice" by britney spears and the drug i am would be coke. Honestly. You gotta love the description they make of you when they told you: "YOU ARE COCAINE: You raise blood pressure, heart rate, and cause euphoria. Side effects include twitching, itching and paranoia. Your appearance is white and fine, and you can be smoked, snorted, injected, you name it". So well, that's scary enough. Not too sure you wanna snort me but sure, you can try if you want!
On the movie killer side, i'd be Michael Myers from Halloween (i had to check i dont watch scary movies), who's said to be "pure evil! Though you're just a normal dude with a kitchen knife, you are pretty deadly. Though you don't say much, you are actually pretty smart, and you avoid death easily". Well hell yeah i avoid death easily, my crime of choice is theft (i stick on easy targets such as children and the change in vending machines, or so they say)! I even pushed the creepiness a tad further by checking when will i die ... and the date fell like a guillotine blade: in 51 YEARS AT AGE 83. I have another FIFTY ONE YEARS to live? Holy crap, that's long! But i mean, that's looooong! Especially knowing i'm supposed to be dying of old age, in my sleep ... what a normal boring ass way of dying. Well, i guess after such an intense life of mine, i shouldnt be expecting a more exciting way of dying since i'm gonna be living to such an old age. I guess i'll be at home not doing crazy dangerous things anymore. Mmm.
I think i should go and see a psychic and have my tarots read. Even though i already know what tarot card i am ... I'm KING OF WANDS (which i translated as a witch but maybe i'm extrapolating!) ... tan-tan-tan! It's actually not too bad of a thing (especially compared to all the dramz i've discovered in me with all the previous tests): "The essence of fire behaving as air, such as lightning: A great and daring leader who inspires others to rise to challenges alongside him. An artist who can take hold of an idea and make it a reality through bold action. One who is forceful, charismatic, and honest, leading by example, but unafraid to invest authority in others. A dashing and magnetic personality, carrying authority naturally, and striking at the world with swiftness and grace."
So follow me you all, let's steal candies from the kids, snort them on each other's back before we die a painful death after soaking our miserable self in our impure evilness for the next 50 years to come ...

Best regards,

Morrigan - goddess of war and death (my celtic name) ohohohoh (evil laugh)

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