Monday, November 16, 2009

Pneumonia and Me

For the past week or so, i've been coughing and coughing and coughing some more. Convinced it was yet another asthma attack of mine, i used my inhalor as well as some of the meds my GP gave me last time.
Except that it wasnt asthma. I really thought my inhalor was the shit, that everytime i was experiencing this drowning feeling upon breathing, it'd be my savior. Well apparently not.
So since the coughing got worse, i asked for an appointment with my doctor.

It's funny the way doctors ask you: "how are you today" when you enter their practice. I'm awesome doc, i just came by to say hi. So i always answer the same stupid answer: "well, not that good otherwise i wouldnt be here, now, would i?"
He knows me so well he actually answered his questions at the same time i did! He knows that i really have to be/feel pretty bad to get a medical appointment since i really hate going to the doctor. I really have to be dying to resign myself to go.

The weirdest part for me during that consultation was to describe my symptoms. Cuz that very morning, i had experienced the freakiest feeling ever. I was high. High like when you're floating right outside your body. Ok, i know it sounds weird but try to explain THAT to a doctor and then imagine how insanely shameful you feel and the look on your doc's face. He must have thought: well if she's not sick in the head she's probably high on drugs. Well no i wasnt. But the feeling sure was there.

So after i told him all about my trip, as well as my body feeling like i've been run over by a truck and my chest so painful with the incessant coughing, he said right away: this is not dengue. Few.

What is it then?

He calmy said: it's pneumonia.

What? Mmm what? Whaaaaaaat? O_o
Am i gonna DIE? I mean fuuuuuck, pneumonia. It's not like a little cough, it's not a little flu. It's fucking pneumonia. People die of it. It's even the leading cause of death in the elderly and children under 5 years old in the world. THE LEADING CAUSE. What am i supposed to do? I dont want to die. Not of pneumonia anyway. I'd rather chose something a tad less painful. I mean have you ever been so tired you can't cough anymore, your chest feels like you're laying under a 15 tons truck, your body hurts like that very same truck hit you and passed over you a hundred times, you're coughing so hard that make you puke. I mean it's not a pleasant walk in the park.

He said i was gonna be ok, that antibiotics will cure me, either in 2 days (which would mean the infection was not too bad) or in 4-5 days (which would mean: Maty get your ass back to the practice, you're infection is pretty serious, we may need to give you stronger meds).

So i went to the pharmacy to buy my meds and right afterwards, went to visit my friend Tim with whom i was gonna have lunch. As soon as i got to his office, i took my meds and sat down to wait til he was finished. And then, all of the sudden, out of nowhere, it hit me. But i mean big time. I was hiiiiiiiiigh. Like went you've taken 3 pills of extasy but without the feeling of happiness (and without my hair dancing on my head either). I couldnt stand, i was hallucinating, i couldnt walk without assistance cuz i was too drowsy and had no balance left whatsoever.

And the first thing i thought was ... HOW am i supposed to drive back home? Like Tim was gonna let me drive in such a state. So i went to his place, slept the entire afternoon (hugging his 60 pounds boxer Ali), coughed like i wanted to spit my lungs out, having more hallucinations than ever, got myself a pounding headache and thought: fuck, dying hurts.

Well thing was, those meds are so strong you're not supposed to take them on an empty stomach ... Side effects stated are dizziness (got it), headache (got it), difficulty sleeping or bad dreams (got it), pins and needles (got it), confusion (got it), disturbance of the gut such as diarrhea, vomiting (got it), indigestion, abdominal pain (got it) and a couple of other stuff that i didnt have the honors of getting. They should just say: you're high like on E without the happy feeling. That should cover most. Haha.

It's funny though how people react to your diagnosed disease: I'm sick. Oh really what do you have? I have the flu. Oh ok, hope you'll get better soon. Now second scenario: I'm sick. Oh really what to you have? I have pneumonia. What? Whaaaaaaat? Are you OK? You need something? Please let me know if you need something. Can i do something for you?
That makes the feelin you're dying even worse.

Pneumonia is a bad ass name for a bad ass illness with a bad ass legit reputation. I'm a healthy 32 years old woman who's gonna make it. Eventually. In the meanwhile, if you allow me, i'll go take my prescription Es ... and enjoy the ride ...


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