Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's Not Dust It's An Invisibility Cloak

I have a car and it's dirty. Well, not dirty like gross, dirty like in dusty. Thing is i live in a very dusty neighbourhood and if my car stayed parked for the day in front of my house, it will be covered in dust by noon. I am a lazy person and i dont particularly enjoy washing my car. But more than that, i hate doing something so vain as to wash my car, knowing that by tomorrow morning, it will look as dirty as before, if not more.
I used to wash it every week. Cuz i was motivated back then. All of that stopped one day i had washed it like crazy, even the insides of the doors that i normally always forget, inside the trunk, all the carpets. I even had borrowed a vacuum cleaner. The only thing i hadnt done was the polishing. Cuz i'm not that thorough. But anyway. So there was i with my spotless clean car, en route to the supermarket to do my grocery shopping. When i parked and got off the car, this guy came to me and said: "le lavo el carro señorita?"
What? Are you kidding me? I mean come on the car isnt even DRY yet and you're asking me if you can wash my car. Fuck it, am i that bad? Did i do that poor of a job? I know that's the way they make their money but that surely hurt my feelings and blew my ego.
So since then, oh well.

It's funny how it bothers people though. I personaly dont care to drive around in a car that is described as red in the papers but looks like it's been through the desert of Sonora for a week. But it bothers people. A lot.

Mathilde, you should really wash your car.
Why? Is that gonna make it go faster? Is it gonna use less gaz? No, right? Then oh well.

One day after work, i got back to my car to see a huge penis drawn on one of the windows. Damn it. It was on one of the back windows so a window i obviously never roll down so i drove around with my penis for quite some time.
Another day, still on work's parking lot, big letters saying "wash me" ... to which i answered back, also writing in the dust "screw you i like it dirty" :-)
One of the most incredible thing that happened with my dusty car was one day i was in my car, parked, chatting with a friend when this little girl came to my car and start drawing on my hood. I mean come on, i'm sitting RIGHT HERE, what the fuck is wrong with you. I obviously gave her hell to then get hell from my friend telling me that i shouldnt be shouting at a little girl drawing on my car and that i'd rather use the energy to wash it. It was the last time this friend of mine got a ride. Ass.
I also had a guy telling me "i wash your car, i wash your car" (while i was going shopping), no thanks and hearing him mumbling something that really sounded like "stingy filthy bitch" - i had no time nor the will to beat the crap out of him (ok he was also too big for that), another guy who said "i wash your car, i wash your car ... cuz look at it, it could really do with a wash" (asshole, who asked you your opinion), and last but not least, my mechanic to whom i leave the car with so he can change the filters and come back some time laters to a spotless clean car. When i asked him how much did i owe him for the wash, he said "nothing, i washed it cuz it was embarassingly dirty". TOMA.

So yeah, my car is dirty and unless i go live in a place without dust, it'll most probably stay that way. Call it whatever you want, sunblock, invisibility cloak, dust, filth, that i am indeed saving water but let me tell you what it is ... my car is going through a dust experiment and cleaning it will ruin the whole concept of it. There. Any questions? 

PS: best bumper sticker ever read:
" a clean car is a sign of a sick mind"


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