Saturday, January 26, 2013

It's Your Birthday

I really wish i could stop talking about it, about you. But today is your birthday and how couldnt i? So this is the letter i was meaning to write you some time ago but didnt find the strength to.

You were, are and forever will be my little baby brother. I remember when people were asking me, oh, you have a younger brother, how old is he? And i always had to think twice before answering cuz for me, you were still that little boy i was riding with back from school. We've always got along but the older we were getting, the better it was. 

I remember the bond we had when we were playing together, or watching stupid tv shows before doing our homework. It was the bond of brotherhood. And quite frankly, there isnt anything better in life.

As the years went by, i moved away from France and watched you from afar, struggling to make a living out of your passion but not doubting a single second this was what you wanted to do and where you wanted to be in your life. I knew you werent having it easy but every single time we saw each other over the past 13 years i've been away, it was like we were both living the life of our dreams, careless, carefree, having a ball and laughing our eyes out at eachother's stupid jokes.

And then the unspeakable happened. All of the sudden, i was caught in YOUR world and realized, in complete awe, how much bigger you were than all of us. What you managed to create from your tiny appartment, wow, i dont even know where to start. You succeeded in gathering hundreds of people and making them become this big family that has now lost their leader. You were admired and respected by people much older than you were, much more experienced than you were and yet, still managed to stay the reserved, humble, down to earth person i was lucky to grow up with.
Words cant even start to express how proud i am of you. How unbelievably proud i am of what you did with your life, of how many people you've inspired and somehow influenced for many years to come. You truly became a hero that so many admired, me included.
You've taught showed us that no dream is too big, that nobody is too small and that determination and faith go more than a long way. 

I wish i had had the chance to tell you this. I wish i could have held you in my arms to tell you how proud i've always been of you, tell you how much i love you and how much i thought of you all the time.

You're gone now. I miss you like i didnt even think it was possible to miss someone. It's like i have this massive hole in my heart that nobody can ever fill up completely. I think about you all the time, about all the things we still had to share, all the things we still had to talk about or laugh about, all the thing that you had to teach me and maybe also, the things i had to teach you.

I hope, wherever you are now, that you know how much we miss you. Life will never be the same again. They say you're in a better place. Well, better or not, this place here is a lot worse without you. But life aint always fair. And with you gone, it sometimes feels like the sparkle in my humble life will never glitter again.

Happy 33rd birthday lil'bro.
Love you ... now and always.

Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite often the hard way.  ~Pamela Dugdale

No comments:

Post a Comment