Saturday, June 06, 2009


I have felt guilty for the past few weeks ... I guess when you have so much time on your hands, that means a lot of time to think about yourself. And i realized i've been doing a lot of things that actually make me feel guilty, especially when i think about them. So i have decided to write them down and ease my guilt a little ... Maybe it'll work! So there you go ...

I've felt guilty about not being able to walk my dog more than 1h30 every day, guilty that i havent ride my bike for the past 3 days, guilty to listen to Britney Spears full volume in my car (and even more guilty to know all the damn lyrics by heart), guilty to have drank wine when i've been trying to give up drinking completely, guilty to be on the point of standing up a guy cuz i realized i didnt want to have sex with him, guilty to eat Nutella with a spoon directly from the pot, guilty to have too much fun with my new toy, guilty to arrive 10 minutes late at work everyday, guilty to be going on holidays when the season is gonna start again here, guilty to be happy to cover for people who are sick, guilty of not writing blog and diary more often, guilty of not really worrying about not working, guilty about the week's worth of dishes in the sink (and the fortnight's worth of dirty clothes in the laundry basket), guilty to actually enjoy eating at McDonalds, guilty of only thinking about stuff in a sexual way, guilty of not attending a party i've been invited to about 10 times, guilty of re-reading for the 100th time a soapy book (or re-watching for the 100th time a soapy movie), guilty for eating in front of the computer or in my bed, guilty for loving my dog inconditionally and a little more everyday, guilty of thinking about this guy not stop, guilty of bragging about my vacations, guilty about feeling like a groupie when a guy who's blog i'm following answers my email, guilty about crying watching Monster Inc., guilty about spending most of my time on messenger, guilty about checking the gossips before the real news (thus knowing all of Angelina Jolie's kid's names and not the name of the French Prime Minister) and guilty to admit all that ...

Yep, that's a lot a guilt right there! And i guess i was wrong thinking writing about it would make the guilt burn a little less. It doesnt change the way i feel at all ... But i must admit though, it kinda helped when i think about it ... It just made me realized something ... It made me realized that no matter how guilty i am ... i don't care the slightest in the world!

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