Sunday, August 23, 2009

Shoot Me Now

... Shoot me now .... talalalala ....
To set up the ambiance you need to sing these 3 words on the melody of "total eclipse of the heart". I think my colleague Kelley only figured out the first sentence of the verse ... shoot me now. And then she's just humming the rest. I thought i might fell off my chair from laughter when i heard her singing that as she was getting nutter covering on a job that wasn't hers. It has now become a common song to sing in the office when it becomes insane.

Well today, it also applies to everything else in my life. Not that i am planning on shooting myself in the head (i wouldn't have the guts to do such thing anyway) but you know, when you're filled up with this overwhelming powerlessness. Oh how much i hate it. You feel like the entire universe is against you - which makes the law of attraction oh so true one more time, the good attracts the good and the bad attracts the worse.

So there i am struggling with my Internet connection, and my messenger, and my other messenger, and my emails, and my blackberry, and my skype ... I mean we live in the best era there is regarding communications. This is supposed to be easy. And handy. And practical. You don't even need a "messenger for dummies" book.

Well in my life right now, there is ONE person i want to be in touch with, only one. Everybody else i generally chat with, i can see them pretty much every day. Which i do most of the time. But this very special person, i don't. I don't see him every day. At all. So chatting is all i have to stay in touch. At least for now. And it has been so frustrating for the past few days that i got to the point i really wanted to tear my hair out (which didn't really work ... i don't have enough), or screamed my lungs out of rage (which i did), or cried my eyes out (which i almost did) or throw my computer through the window (which i so nearly did!!) or all of the above at the same time.

I mean it was like, i get online, he gets off, he gets on while i got off 2 minutes earlier, when we finally both online, a storm burst out outside and there goes my Internet connection (and with it messenger and emails), when i am finally back on, he's gone. And then messenger doesn't let me leave message while the other person is offline, so i got all my lines that are bouncing back which drives me positively nutter.

And then i finally realized today that messenger on the blackberry does NOT deliver offline written messages. That i actually have to get online a real computer to get them ... Talking about adding confusion and misunderstandings.

One thing is certain though, in those painful moments, a messenger representative would stand on my doorstep, i swear to god he wouldn't be living another 2 seconds.

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