Monday, May 31, 2010

Me and ... The Fat Machine

Once a week, i work at the office. Either to prepare my week of cruise ships during the busy season or to cover for colleagues on their day off during the low season. Problem of the low season is that it's exactly that: LOW.
Low meaning that it is slow, that there is next to nothing to do but you still have to sit there for 8 hours and i probably said that a million times already but i get bored easily. And when i'm bored, i do the worse thing to do: i eat.
Last day i was in the office, it was on Saturday. Since my car so nicely broke down the day before, i had to take the bus to get there. And since i am now living in a complete different area than before, i wasnt too sure about how long it'd take me to get there by bus, especially since i had a transfer to do. So i had breakfast at like 6am, hopped in the bus at 7am and got there at 7:45am. Not bad. I mean, 45 minutes in public transport to get to work, there is a lot of people who do that every single day, and for some, it's more like 1.5 hours to get there. So yeah, that was good.

Upon arrival, since there is a breakfast table set up for guests who are going on tour, i helped myself with a coffee and a sweet bread. Problem is, by 10am i was already starving. And they dont serve food in the canteen before 1pm. And generally on Saturday and Sunday, it is some horrendous tongue tacos or shit like that that i will not eat anyway. But still. There's always some kinda salad i can calm my stomach with.

When it was 11am, it was obvious that i wasnt gonna make it until lunch time so i went to our (in)famous fat machine. The fat machine is a vending machine that we have in the premises. It is actually a big ass one since there is  window for junk food and another window for pop. Why the fat machine? Cuz let's be honest, nothing that comes out of there is remotedly healthy. You have a selection of crisps, a selection of chocolate bars, a selection of cookies, a selection of cakes and ONE variety of cereal bar. And on the drink side, you have all the selection of sodas you can dream of and ONE juice option, option that is not the best either, considering that it is a juice made of concentrate hence full of sugar. So there. The explanation of the name "fat machine" (we also have fat plaza, a mall with all kind of food stands but where we only go to stuff ourselves with burgers and fries from McDonalds)

So back to our story. It's Saturday. It's low season. It's DEAD. It's 11am and I am starving. So direction: FAT MACHINE. Since i always get the same stuff, i know exactly how much i'll spend (15 pesos) but that day, i only had 20 pesos. So there i am, select product, C4, insert money, 7 pesos, slip my 10 pesos coin in, cookies fall, and then i'm waiting for my change of 3 pesos.
For those not familiar with Mexican money, 3 pesos change can be handled back with 3 coins of 1 or 1 coin of 2 and 1 coin of 1.
Well, fat machine didnt have 2 pesos coins that day so it spat me 3 coins of 1. And yeah, you read it right, bloody machine SPAT OUT the coins at me. I mean WTF? What kind of vending machine DOES that? What kind of vending machine throws the change at you? And i mean it throws it pretty damn far on top of that. And since the change box is located at the bottom of the machine, it spits the coins right into your knees.

I was in shock. Not too sure how to react either. If laughing or running away. Really doesnt help my theory about mini people working INSIDE fat machines to go away. You know. Like in Men in Black. They have ETs inside the copy machine and shit. Well maybe we have ETs in our fat machines as well. Maybe they got pissed at me for not having the exact change that day and thus making them work extra ...

Mmm, i'll make sure i'll have the exact change next time :)

PS: i'd be fat in no time if i was working in the office every day of the week. Bloody fat machine...


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