Interesting Items

There are some good sides in packing your life to move ... You can clean up your living environment of all the crap you've been accumulating over the year and you can also find interesting stuff like this piece of paper that i've decided to copy here (so i can trash the hard copy).

Enjoy (with my comments about it ... obviously)

* In the 1400's, a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb". No kidding.
* Many years ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden" ... and thus the world GOLF entered into the English language. Sexist bastard. No wonder why most women think golf is boring as hell.
* The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred & Wilma Flintstone. O_o
* Every day, more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
* Men can read smaller print than women can. Women can hear better. Jajajajaja, now is that the reason why we tend to know everything???
* Coca-Cola was originally green. Ewwwwwww.
* It is impossible to lick your elbow. Why would i want to do that anyway?
* The state with the highest percentage of people walking to work is Alaska. Ah. I thought they dog-sled! (sorry couldnt help!)
* The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this ....)
* The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38% (i'm in shock).
* The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of 11 is $6400 USD (holy mother fucking christ, what do you give your dog? Diamonds in champagne glasses? Golden teeth! What is wrong with you people! Get your priorities straight! Raising my dog, if she lives 11 years and if i keep doing it the way i do (and trust me, she is well taken care of) will cost me $3500 USD. I mean it is HALF of that amount! That's a huge difference!)
* Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
* The first novel ever written on a typewriter was Tom Sawyer. Always thought it was the Bible but maybe it doesnt count as a "novel". Oops
* The San Francisco Cable Cars are the only mobile National Monuments. Who labelled a car a "monument"? Oh dear.
* Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from History: King of Spade is King David, King of Hearts is Charlemagne (whom every child in France hate since he's the one who made school MANDATORY ...if i remember my history classes from elementary school!), King of Clubs is Alexander the Great and King of Diamonds is Julius Caesar. Amen.
* 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321. OMG, WHO find that one out?? Seriously WHO took the time to find that one out?
* In a park, if a statue of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes. I studied that kinda things in art classes and absolutely loved it.
* HALF of ALL Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. Well that explains a lot.
* Most boat owners name their boats. The most popular boat name requested is Obsession. And when you talk about a ship, you say "she". Mmmm ... I'll shut up on this one.
* If you were to spell out numbers in English, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A" ... ONE THOUSAND. Well hope you enjoyed that completely useless piece of information and hope you didnt lose time counting up to 1000.
* Bulletproof vests, fire escapes, winshield wipers and laser printers all have one thing in common: they were all invented by women. Oh yeah.
* Honey is the only food that doesnt spoil. Yet they HAVE to put a use-by date cuz you never know ...
* Father's day is the day there are more collect calls than any other day of the year. Que gacho.
* In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase: "good night, sleep tight" (i really love to find out where those weird crazy funny expressions are coming from).
* 4000 years ago, it was the accepted practice in Babylon that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
* At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow. I did! Did you?




And the last one for the road ... I know it looks weird but please, go ahead, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht i cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht i was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabgride Uinervtisy, it deosnt mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can slitl raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef but the wrod as a wlohe Amznaig huh?



  

The Ash Cloud

Something a bit unusual happened today at work. We were all standing on the pier, checking people in for their tour when all of the sudden, something weird started falling off the sky. We all noticed at the same time and the first words that came out of our mouths were:
WHAT THE FUCK?

It's only after a few seconds of this unexpected "rain" that we realized it was SOOT. I mean what is wrong with your funnel you guys? Do you have to do it now? I mean it's covering everything like a rain of ash. And there are no volcanos close by, less of it all one erupting.

Bloody little pieces of soot go everywhere. In your hair, in your eyes, in your nose, on your clothes, in your bag, every-fucking-where. I even found some in my bra when i got home and took a shower. I mean i dont hang out on the pier in my underwear! How the hell did that got in there?

The shore excursion manager of the ship called the bridge to ask what was going on and he got the following answer:
"- oh, we're sweeping out the funnel ... why? did anybody complain?
- well yeah, the operators are complaining and i am complaining too!
- oh, if it just the operators and you than we dont care it's ok"

So i only have 2 words for this guy:

FUCK
YOU

Now that my entire stuff is covered in fucking soot cuz you decided to clean your funnel in port instead of at sea, what am i gonna do? Sending you the dry cleaning bill?

I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

How Old Are You Again?

A few days ago, my best friend and neighbor Nahomi invited me to a bbq at her house. I really like going to her parties cuz i dont have any traveling time to do!! We literally live next to each other !! Her husband's speciality, or maybe i should say ONE of her husband's cooking speciality is manta ray, and that's what was on the menu that night. And jeez does that taste good!

Nahomi and i have been working together for almost 6 years now and been friends for pretty much the same amount of time. So obviously, we do have a lot of friends in commun and obviously, a lot of those friends work with us.

Well that evening, one of my ex boyfriend was there. Well actually a few of them were there but that particular one, i hadnt seen or been around him in quite some time. We nastily split up a couple of years ago, then became friends again, then destroyed our relationship over stupid stuff and both kinda moved on with our lives. Or so i thought.
I dont hold the grudge with people. And since we had such a great friendship and connection together, i actually thought it was sad to end up not talking. But that was his decision and if that was going to help him moving on, then i could only but respect it.

What i wasnt expecting though, is that he would actually act like a 5 years old all evening, turning his back on me all the time. He actually arrived within a group of 5 people, 4 of them all greeting me upon arrival, one of whom i didnt know but he presented himself to me, we chit chat for a few minutes and that's it.

When he arrived, he did not look at me once, he didnt say hi and every time i was changing position, moving around to talk to everybody, he was making sure to give his back to me.

WHAT THE FUCK?

I mean, i understand you dont want to talk to me anymore, i understand our split has been rough on you and that it took you quite some time to accept the fact that we wouldnt be an item anymore, that i didnt nurture love feelings for you any longer but i mean COME ON. You're a grown man. You have a girlfriend. You're THIRTY YEARS OLD. Get over with it already.

I'm not asking you to ask me how i am, to spend the entire evening small talking to me. Just a polite good evening, acknowledging the fact that you saw me and are ok with it, acting like an ADULT, not like a 5 years old who's still pissed off 2 years later for not getting the last candy bar at a birthday party.

I dont need you in my life, nor will i lose sleep over this. But how immature is that? I was genuinely shocked. And disappointed in a way. Just like today when i realized my boyfriend i split up with some 3 weeks back doesnt have the balls to tell me he's dating someone else already. I mean what are you guys expecting? That i'm gonna voodoo you into some horrendous pain for not worshiping me for ever and ever?

What is wrong with you people? Get a grip, move on and act like grown ups. There is nothing more pityful than adults acting like kindergarden kids.

"Act your AGE, not your SHOE SIZE"

Me and ... My Worse Hangover

I have drunk in the past. Many times. Many times WAY past my tolerance for alcohol, way more than I should have, way more than I could handle. That didn’t really stop me from doing it again, over and over again. Up until that day back in 2008 when I realized that I could drink an inconsiderate amount of vodka and still be decently standing, still be decently “sober”. That day, I freaked out and realized that I was getting closer to being an alcoholic, that I would eventually get hurt or hurt someone in the process and that the time had come that I should stop drinking. One of my friend said that it was a bit extremist, that I could still drink a glass from time to time but I know what I’m like. If I allow myself a glass, than why can’t I allow myself another one, and another one? And then we are back to that vicious circle when you stop drinking only because the bar is closing.

ANYWAY … time has passed … and things have changed. Recently, I finished up a treatment for my asthma that lasted 3 months, 3 months during which I wasn’t allowed to drink caffeine or alcohol. Needless to say that I craved both badly during that time. And the second I could drink a Coke or a coffee again, I didn’t even fancy doing so. Go figure.
Except that I DID end up drinking a LOT of Coke and a LOT of coffee. Maybe that why I’ve been feeling that shitty over the past month. Maybe there IS a reason that I shouldn’t be drinking those. Maybe my doctor was actually right.

All that to say that last Saturday, my best friend Tim was in town, back from Playa del Carmen where he now lives. And it was obvious that we were going to go out. It was also obvious that I was gonna have at least one drink with him. What wasn’t planned though, was that he was gonna buy a bottle of Ketel One vodka, and that it would be just the 2 of us to drink it up. Man does that vodka taste good. It was honestly the best I had in like a lifetime!!! And we were seating basically on the dance floor, bitching about everybody, chatting with the waiter, dancing a bit, drinking a lot, having a blast and before we notice, damn bottle is ¾ empty O_o

And the music was boring so we took off to another “antro”, drank some more there, and to ANOTHER one, drank some more there too until it was like 5 in the morning and I could barely walk, let alone dance or talk.

We walked back to the car, I made a scene (that’s what I tend to do when I’m drunk), went through a side road to avoid the police check point, still got stop at the federal check point but went through no problem, got home, fought a bit more and bed.

Worse night ever. I slept 3 hours then the dogs woke me up. Went back to bed then needed the bathroom. Went back to bed then needed to puke. Hell, I puked my soul out. I was feeling miserable as hell. Went back to bed, realized it was already 2pm but couldn’t bear the IDEA of being standing, slept a bit more, felt more miserable.

I ended up getting out of bed at around 6:30pm, took a shower to finally be partly human being again around 7pm. It was one of those hangover you don’t really have a headache cuz the booze is good quality but you’re dizzy, drowsy, nauseous and all that you’re feeling when you’ve drunk way too much the night before. It’s one of those hangover you swear to god you will never EVER drink again. And this is honestly what I said all day yesterday, what I am still saying today:

“I will never EVER drink again”

PS: I know what you’re saying… Sure, whatever, they always say that. Well I have no intention on feeling that bad any time soon. And since I don’t feel like I NEED a drink to have fun, I probably won’t. But someone HAS to finish that bottle of vodka. There is still a quarter left in the bottle :p



   

Bold Tires

About 5 weeks ago, i went to the tire dealer to get a new set of tires. I am a fast driver, yet a good one and i was noticing that my car was skiding in the curves and pretty much going all over the place as soon as there was sand or water on the road. Which in PV tends to happen a lot. Between the beach, the dust, cobblestone streets, dirt roads, the unexpected rains we had in January and February, construction sites everywhere, people watering the street in front of their house to stick the dust on the ground (instead of on their couch), yeah, dirt and water is a recurrent occurrence in PV.

So since my car was now doing more and more of its own will more than what i wanted it to do, a trip to the tire dealer was a tall order.

You should have seen his face when he saw my tires. He was like "how long have you been driving this car around like this? I have never seen such used tires"

O_o

HEY! DUDE!
Please note that i actually BROUGHT you the car in question. Now DO something about it. I mean it's actually quite something that i even thought about bringing it. And now you're telling me i should have brought it 6 months ago? Well 6 months ago my car was still answering my commands and not going all over the place like it's out of its fucking mind.
Oh come on, i am a woman, what do you expect? It's my dad who normally does all those car related shit for me.

Oh, how i love to use this excuse. I mean yes, i am a woman. And yes, back in the days, when i was still living with my parents, it was my dad taking care of all this shit. But i was taught to be an independant woman who can perfectly take care of herself. And i must say, i actually think i am. But i am also a sloppy lazy bitch who couldnt care less about her car being as dirty as hell, with only one rim left (on the spare wheel) and oil that gets to reach the color and texture of caramel before it even OCCURS to me to change it.
I KNOW those things need to be done, i just completely forget about it or postpone until my car dies on me. Which, as my mechanic (and my dad) always tell me (in a contained anger voice) is not good for the car.

Oh well.

A week ago, i noticed that my front wheels, that i replaced a month and a half before, were bolding again. And i was like, wait a minute, i JUST changed those tires. I mean i know i dont drive like a granny who doesnt know there is a 3rd (or 4th or 5th) gear available but i definitely dont drive THAT fast nor THAT extremely to ruin a pair of tires in barely 6 weeks.

Postponing again, i waited til today to go back to my tire dealer (in front of whom i'm passing every single day to go back home ... yeah, i know, shame on me, whatever!). Why today? Cuz i thought i needed to be the right amount of pissed off to go back to them and tell them how unhappy i was. And after that phone call i got just as i was getting out of work, i was in the PERFECT mood to go give them a mouthful.

- (me) Do you remember me?
- (tire dealer) Yes i do
- I came 6 weeks ago to change my 4 tires.
- yes i remember
- well i am here to complain about the tires you put on my car. I mean it's barely been 6 weeks and they're bold again. So either you sold me used tires, or you sold me very poor quality tires but there is no way i'm getting through tires that fast.
- what? your tires are bold after 6 weeks? let's go check

So there we are, checking how bold my front tires are. And he said: miss, it's not about the tires, it's about TUNING. Your car's tires are like the feet of a duck, pointing towards the inside and that's why only 2/3 of it is actually bold and the remaining third is as good as new. And by the way, there is no way you're moving this car again today, THIS tire is so worn out it might blow open just looking at it ...

O_o

DAMNI wish i had taken a picture of my actual tire. We could see the insides of it (almost). It was scary to think about what could have happened if that particular tire would have explode on me, while driving back home, or to work.

They fixed it. On the spot, with no appointment and in 1.5 hour. The same mechanic as last time with the same malicious smile on his face, probably thinking "ffff, women are useless". Well, maybe i am useless with a car. But 2 things are certain: a) this is now my official tire/brake/suspension dealer for the impecable service i've been received the past 3 times i went and b) get the fuck out of the way bitches, Mathilde has brand new tires to wear out.
  

Me and ... Pier 3

I have been working at the cruise ship terminal of Puerto Vallarta for almost 7 years now. And recently, if i remember well it was in 2007, they built up a 3rd pier. Well actually, they remodeled pier 2 to make it bigger and built a brand new pier, pier 3 in order to accommodate 3 big ass cruise ships in port. Which for me means: not so much tendering to deal with anymore. Which i think is oh so fine. Tendering is a pain in the butt. People arrive late, in waves, like, bam, 150 people at once and then nothing for 15-20 minutes.
So yeah, when they said: we are inaugurating pier 2 and pier 3, even the president of Mexico came. Not that that makes a big difference, i mean the guy is 1m50 so probably nobody even saw him but that's another story.

Well pier 2 is kinda OK. I say "kinda" because it's in the sun all day, there is no shade on it, no room, no place to seat, no bathroom BUT i can send people directly to their boat or their bus without having them sticking around me and annoying the crap out of me with their stupid questions.

 Pier 3 on the other hand ... is a whole new concept. On the positive sides, it is in the shade all day and bathrooms are luxurious. Like Four Seasons bathrooms. All marble. But that's about it. Everything else is far. But i mean FAAAAAR. To walk people to their boat, it takes 10 minutes (I’m talking for someone reasonably fit like me), to get to the closest stand where you can get a decent coffee, it's 12 minutes (or crossing a 10 lines street), for a snack, even a crappy bag of crisps or any kind of junk food to calm down your insides, it’s also 12 minutes or 10 lines of insane traffic (especially at the time you generally NEED the bag of crisps to calm down your screaming stomach), if you’ve forgotten some boarding passes or liability release forms, it’s also 12 minutes, if you want to exit the pier, it’s 10 minutes, if you have a break between 2 tours, unless you have at least 2 hours, it’s pointless to do anything cuz you’re too far and by the time you’ll get where you have to be, it’ll already be time to come back.

Pier 3 is the pier at the front of the picture. Pier 2 is where the Norwegian Pearl is docked and pier 1 is all the way to the back of the picture, basically where everything is : shops, food, coffee ... etc

But yeah, bathrooms are awesome. I mean they should do a tour to the bathroom of pier 3. That’s what I tell my guests if they have to wait with me on the pier. You can go to the bathroom even if you don’t need to pee. It’s definitely worth a trip.

And just next to pier 3, there’s the naval military :D

Every morning, they run around the base. Guys with uniforms and guns :p

And they sing also. One lead singer, and everybody else repeating after him. Reminds me of summer camp!

All that to say not too much. I have no idea where I was heading to with this post. Just that pier 1 is now in maintenance for a few months so “my” ship is now going to be tendering and my colleague’s ship is gonna be on pier 3. Everybody hates pier 3. But I guess I’ve done my share of it. I should have counted all the kilometers I’ve walked. Those added to the ones I walk with my dogs…

And then they ask me how do I keep on losing weight? Try pier 3 for a few weeks. No food and walking. That should do the trick!!!

   

Bitch

I hate the world today
You're so good to me, I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet


Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one


Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing


Chorus

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me


Chorus


I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

WOOOOO!
It's been a long time since i last put a song to express my feelings ... You bet i'm a bitch! JA! I'm actually a bipolar one. Or so they say ...

Have a nice night you suckers! Love ya ;)


    

Aouch

Last Sunday, i went sailing with my BF and some friends. I have been living in Mexico long enough to know that the sun here, even in March, is not a pussy and can do some serious damage. So yeah, first thing i put in my bag for the day, was the sunblock. As well as a hat, sunglasses and everything else you take when you go to the beach.

Since i am insanely sensitive to the cold and the departure was at 8am, i also carried with me a long sleeve shirt, sweat pants and a sweater. Tourists on board the sailboat looked at me like "what the hell is wrong with you?". Not that i really care what they think. I've been working in the sun for the past 8 years, trust me, i know how to protect myself. And no, you will never see me so burnt it hurts just to look at it. I has happened to me in the past and i swore it wouldnt happen to me ever again.

Well i should have shut up. I dont get burnt at work on the pier. I dont get burnt on the ears, in the neck, on the back of the legs, on the feet when i use sandals. No no. That, i have under control. But there is ONE spot i had no idea i could get THAT burnt. And man, does that hurt.

I got sunburnt on my lips. Just the lower one. But you should see how gross it is, how painful it is, how disgusting-looking it is. I can't smile, i can't open my mouth wide enough to feed myself, i can't kiss, i can't do anything. And it hurts like fucking hell. I mean my lip is burnt to the millionth degree, broken open in 4 different parts, full of pus and scabs. IT IS GROSS. I had no idea that could happen. But yet again, i should have known better. I have sailed in the past, i have skiied in the past. And never has that happen to me.

When i told my dad that i had burnt lips, the first thing he asked me was: did you go sailing or what? Damn dad, how do you KNOW?

So yeah, now i'm at home, taking care of my destroyed lip, applying after-sun aloe vera lotion on it every 2 hours and well, hoping for the best. By "the best" i mean hoping that i will get my soft lip back sometime soon. It's been almost week, i have suffered enough.










PS: after yesterday's picture, i thought maybe a post without a creepy disgusting ripped lip was a good idea.

PS: OK, real reason why i didnt put a picture is because i couldnt find one disgusting enough :)

  

On Why I Wish I Was Born A Man

WHOAZA !!
What a catchy title!

Ok, this really is random rambling. I had that very sentence passing through my brain this other day. Well, it was more like, "damn, why the fuck arent i a man?" or "jeez, lucky bastards men are, they dont have to pull up with all that shit".

By "all that shit", i mean, menstruation. It's not precisely shitty to menstruate, it's just a plain pain in the ass. Well, not exactly in the ass. Oh come on, it's an expression. Aaaaargh. Godammit. See what i mean. THAT kinda shit. Those swings of mood. The simple fact that everything and anything can irritate the crap out of you. Either that or make you break down and cry. And realizing you're crying cause you're boyfriend didnt say "thank you" when you passed him the salt over dinner makes you feel even shittier.
So needless to say that overacting is also part of the deal. It's kind of a package deal you know. And how lucky are we? It's a package deal that comes back every single bloody month (no pun intented).

So yeah, there are some great advantages about being a man. Apart from the obvious, like being able to pee standing (i personally think that is freakin AWESOME), having the strenght to change your car-wheel alone, not being screwed up by the mechanics, being able to burp or spit in public, not having to queue for hours in public bathroom, sitting with your legs open, cheap underwear (or no underwear at all) and another billion of other stuff, i truly think that the best advantage on being a man is not having to deal with your hormones as much as we do as women.

I also think this is the reason why there aren't too many women in power in the world. Because even though we can multitask where men can't, even though we can be a housewife in the morning, a perfect employee in the afternoon, super mom in the evening and a great wife at night and men can only be men, those 4 days a month screw us all up ... And big time.

So gentlemen, i'm not gonna ask you to excuse us to be unfathomable every now and then, just shut up, suck it up and deal with it. The best you can. Just as we do ;)

For those who have no idea what this is all about, and for your general information, no, we don't bleed enough to write fuck off and die in blood on the floor of our bathroom, otherwise, we'd truly be those creatures from another planet who can heavily bleed 4 days a month and still be alive and kicking. What kinda freaky being can do that?

And yes, i also think this drawing is creepy. But it matches the mood perfectly :D


  

I Want A Giraffe

DAMN! I haven't been writing in AGES. Kinda makes me feel guilty as hell. I can't say i haven't thought about it but i have been so very busy lately.

So very busy taking care of my stupid ZOO on Facebook. I mean damn, this thing is addictive. So there i am, with my hundreds of animals, reproducing them, training them, salving them, adopting them, whatever you can do with them, accumulating points, and buying lush trees and bushes which can give you more coins when you shake them, and collecting bags of money from the entrance, and searching for the treasures that are hidden in your neighbor's/friend's zoos, and shaking their trees and statues to get more coins, and trying to get through the achievements and instructions they give you, and dying to buy a mammoth (but it's only by giving your credit card number and i'm not that addicted yet) and this and that. Takes me ages to find the treasure in my own bloody zoo cuz i got so many cages to check.

So yeah, i had a Happy Aquarium and i was fine with it. Cleaning my tank and my friend's tanks, collecting coins in my treasure chest and my friend's chests as well, buying new fishes, training fishes, adopting fishes, buying decorations for the aquarium and stuff, yeah, that was when life was easy.

Then i got hooked into Happy Island and now in Zoo World.

What is the point of those games? There is NONE. And that's the saddest part of it. I mean i spend HOURS playing for absolutely nothing. Doesnt bring me money or reward of any kind. I just get extra 250 points or 1 extra wildlife coin when i go up in levels but that's pretty much it. Maybe one day i'll be over it. But in the meanwhile ...

I
WANT
A
GIRAFFE

(that very same one that you can see on the picture ... the elephant and the lion, i got already, but the giraffe, i really want - and FYI, MY zoo is now worth $15849600 (not that pathetic $750 mrentioned on this screen) and i have 4 islands full of animals ...)


Please ...  :)

   

Playing For Change

"Playing for Change is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. No matter whether people come from different geographic, political, economic, spiritual or ideological backgrounds, music has the universal power to transcend and unite us as one human race. And with this truth firmly fixed in our minds, we set out to share it with the world."

With that said, i think it's the perfect way to end a month, a perfect way to enjoy your Sunday. This kind of non-profit organization moves me. I wish i could do more. Maybe i should change direction in my life and start working for non-profit organizations like this one. Maybe i've been totally mistaken all along and chose the complete wrong path profesionally. Maybe i should start giving back to people who truly needs it. Music doesnt feed you nor offer shelter but it surely helps to ease the pain and the heart.

Check some of the videos they made ... On their website: http://www.playingforchange.com/ or on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAjFnJuk1Aw
A lot of people have it worse than us ... stop whining and play that funky music ...

    

Me and ...

Before anything, an explanation is in order ...

Back in the days, there was this guy in the company i work for, that nobody really knew what he was doing (but he must have been somehow important, at one point, he even had a secretary), who one day decided that it was high time for this institution to have its own newspaper. By newspaper, i mean more like a little home-made magazine everybody and anybody could write in. It was to be published every month.

Obviously, after a few months and a few publications, Big Boss realized that this magazine was not making any money whatsoever, that it was just expenses, no benefit and mentioned magazine was published once a trimestre - that is to say 4 times a year (insert sarcastic laugh here).

Anyways.

As soon as i heard about this mag. and that they were looking for "journalists", or people willing to write something, i went to see the guy in charge and tell him: me me me! And since not a lot of people were willing to write, i was, then, more than welcome. And i "signed" up for 2 columns: one called "the good old days" in which i was interviewing the employees who've been in the company the longest (we have numbers in order of employment, i have #676 for example - so i interviewed people who have employee numbers below 15 - there are about 9 of them still, amongst whom #1 who was my first interview !) and another column called "me and ..." in which i was sarcastically commenting on crazy/stupid stuff that happened to me (a bit like how and what i'm doing in this blog).

I love writing and knowing that people from work would discover another side of me was appealing and exciting. Unfortunately, appearances can be extremely deceptive.
When i presented him my second interview, he censored some stuff, stuff that i personally found hilarious but he said no no no. One of the question in the interview was "what's the best memory you have of the good old days?" And one of them answered "when Big Boss, out of pure wrath, was firing everybody and then frantically calling everybody the following morning wondering where the hell was everybody".
Well i think that's hilarious. We all know how Big Boss is and he's so like that. But no. That was not proper. We couldnt make Big Boss or the company look bad. We couldnt either write or mention anything that'd make the rest of us feel that the company was better back in the days. Especially since ALL of the interviewees said that ambiance and comradeship was WAYYY better then than now. But then again, how can you possibly compare a company with 12 employees and one with 700. But that was a big no no. The company now MUST look better than THEN. W-h-a-t-e-v-e-r.

So when he put the wrong picture on an interview, i was like, mmm, dont think he cares, so why should i? And i gave up that column.

It's my second column that i was enjoying writing the most. I wrote about me and my job, me and the airport, me and the international ABC, me and a shit load of other stuff i dont remember but i should look for since i was actually pretty proud of myself ... Come on, i wrote those articles in SPANISH. Yes m'am. So being sarcastic in a language you dont fully master is quite a challenge. But anyways.

One day, i came out with "me and Mexico city". I should have called it me and mexico city's traffic but i just called it me and mexico city. Well that was a mistake. And a big one apparently. Let me clear up something. I have absolutely NOTHING against the city of Mexico. I truly love the place, i have had the best of time there and the welcome i got from mexican from the city was great. Moreover, most of my mexican friends are from Mexico city. But come on, i dont think there'll be anybody here that wouldnt agree with me on the fact that traffic in Mexico city is insane. And if you're not from there it's even worse. But he (from Mexico city) was apparently extremely offended by my text. And he told me: you need to re-write it, to adjust it so it doesnt offend people from DF. And i was like, i'm sorry but no, i am not re-writing my text. You do it.
And he did it.
And when i read it, i almost fainted with shock and horror. My original text had become something that i could NEVER have possibly written. In his "adjustments", he had made ME a complete idiot who was too stupid to find her way through Mexico city. So i told him: if you publish this piece of shit, dont you DARE putting MY name on it. I'll shoot you in the eye.
And he didnt.

And that was the end of it, the end of my participation to this glorious magazine who died one issue after i quit.

That's when i realized two things:
- i dont like to have a boss
- i like even less people telling me what to do and how to do it.

So this is why i have decided to bring back my favorite column of all times: ME AND ...
There'll be no censorship and nobody to tell me: oh maty this is bad, you shouldnt post it.
To those people, i have only one word to say (i'd use the f word but i'd need 2 words and i said i only had one jeje):

W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R

Valentine's Post ??

Oh no, it's not a Valentine's post. What for? I dont like the commercial concept around that day. Cant remember who said that Valentine's day should be dedicated to HATE, not to love. So there'd be ONE day in the year for HATE and 364 days for LOVE.

I'm just in a good mood, thanks to a song which has been pumping me up all morning, called turn on the music by Roger Sanchez. If you want to have a piece of my morning's happiness. you can follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaOKJ38VRTQ

I just wanted to write to put down on those pages something i found written on a post it while i was cleaning my house yesterday - and i decided to share it with you ...

Life is short
Break the rules
Forgive quickly
Kiss slowly
Love truly
Laugh uncontrollably
And NEVER regret anything that made you laugh

Had the best of time yesterday night ... and the warm feeling hasnt vanished yet ... I'm loving it!


   

We Are The World 25

I bumped into this video a bit by luck even though i dont believe in luck. I believe in Karma. I believe things happen for a reason, that the universe is sending you signs ...
There is not much else to add. This video gave me chills and a whole new perception of life itself. Maybe it's time we all stop being egoistic and get out of our selfishness ... Donate now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glny4jSciVI



We Are The World 25 For Haiti Lyrics[Justin Beiber]
There comes a time
When we head a certain call
[Nicole Scherzinger & Jennifer Hudson]
When the world must come together as one
[Jennifer Hudson]
There are people dying
[Jennifer Nettles]
And it’s time to lend a hand to life
The greatest gift of all
[Josh Groban]
We can’t go on
Pretending day by day
[Tony Bennet]
That someone, somewhere will soon make a change
[Mary J Blige]
We are all a part of
God’s great big family
And the truth, you know love is all we need

[Chorus]
[Michael Jackson]
We are the world
We are the children
[Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving

[Barbra Streisand]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me


[Miley Cyrus]
Send them your heart
So they’ll know that someone cares
[Enrique Iglesias]
so there cries for help
will not be in vain
We can’t let them suffer
no we cannot turn away
[Jamie Foxx]
Right now they need a helping hand

[Wyclef Jean]
We are the world
We are the Children
[Adam Levine]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
so lets start giving
[Pink]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[BeBe Winans]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me


[Michael Jackson]
When you’re down and out
There seems no hope at all
[Usher]
But if you just believe
There’s no way we can fall
[Celine Dion]
Well, well, well, well, let us realize
That a change can only come
[Fergie]
When we stand together as one
[Nick Jonas]


[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Nick Jonas]
Got to start giving
[All]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
[Toni Braxton]
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me


[Mary Mary]
We are the world
We are the children
[Tony Bennet]
Its for the children
[Isaac Slade]
We are the ones who make a brighter day
[Toni Braxton]
So lets start giving


[Lil Wayne]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me

[Chorus - All]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Akon]
There’s a choice we’re making
We’re saving our own lives
It’s true we make a better day
Just you and me


[T-Pain]
We are the world
We are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So let’s start giving
[Jamie Foxx]
Choice were making
saving our own lives
It’s true we’ll make a better day
Just you and me


[Rapping - LL Cool J, Will-I-Am, Soop Dogg, Busta Rhymes, Swizz Beatz]
We all need somebody that we can lean on
when you wake up look around and see that your dreams gone
when the earth quakes we’ll help you make it through the storm
when the floor breaks a magic carpet to stand on
we are the World united by love so strong
when the radio isn’t on you can hear the songs
a guided light on the dark road your walking on
a sign post to find the dreams you thought was gone
someone to help you move the obstacles you stumbled on
someone to help you rebuild after the rubble’s gone
we are the World connected by a common bond
Love the World planet sing it along

[Chorus - All]

[Kanye West]
Everyday citizens
everybody pitching in

[Singing - Children & Wyclef Jean]
[Will-I-Am]
You and I
You and I
[Kanye West]
Uh, 12 days no water
wishing will to live
[Will-I-Am]
we amplified the love we watching multiple
[Kanye West]
Feeling like the Worlds end
we can make the World win
[Will-I-Am]
Like Katrina, Africa, Indonesia
and now Haiti needs us, they need us, they need us

[Chorus - All]
[Wyclef Jean]
Haiti, Haiti, Ha, Ha, ha, ha, ha
Haiti, Haiti, Ha, Ha, ha, ha, ha
Haiti, Haiti, Ha, Ha, ha, ha, ha


     

What The Heck Is Going On With The Weather?

Always thought when you're starting talking about the weather meant that you have absolutely NOTHING interesting to talk about and that you're making small talk. I HATE small talk. And yet here i am making small talk, about to talk about the weather ...

So let it get over with, weather has been weird, it's been raining in February, but raining like pouring, just like we have during the rainy season, except that it is February so the rain is cold, there is wind that we normally dont have during rainy season and since it IS winter, it is freezing cold. And then the following morning, you dont even need a sweater to go to work. Go figure. With that said ...

Well ...

That's all i have to say actually. It's how bad my writer's block is. It's how bad i have NO inspiration whatsoever. And even though it may sound stupid, it makes me feel guilty as hell. More than a WEEK without writing ONE SINGLE LINE? What the heck is going on? What happened to me? Is it gonna last forever? Does that mean nothing interesting/funny/embarassing (chose option) is happening in my life? How sad is that?

   

It's Not Dust It's An Invisibility Cloak

I have a car and it's dirty. Well, not dirty like gross, dirty like in dusty. Thing is i live in a very dusty neighbourhood and if my car stayed parked for the day in front of my house, it will be covered in dust by noon. I am a lazy person and i dont particularly enjoy washing my car. But more than that, i hate doing something so vain as to wash my car, knowing that by tomorrow morning, it will look as dirty as before, if not more.
I used to wash it every week. Cuz i was motivated back then. All of that stopped one day i had washed it like crazy, even the insides of the doors that i normally always forget, inside the trunk, all the carpets. I even had borrowed a vacuum cleaner. The only thing i hadnt done was the polishing. Cuz i'm not that thorough. But anyway. So there was i with my spotless clean car, en route to the supermarket to do my grocery shopping. When i parked and got off the car, this guy came to me and said: "le lavo el carro señorita?"
O_o
What? Are you kidding me? I mean come on the car isnt even DRY yet and you're asking me if you can wash my car. Fuck it, am i that bad? Did i do that poor of a job? I know that's the way they make their money but that surely hurt my feelings and blew my ego.
So since then, oh well.

It's funny how it bothers people though. I personaly dont care to drive around in a car that is described as red in the papers but looks like it's been through the desert of Sonora for a week. But it bothers people. A lot.

Mathilde, you should really wash your car.
Why? Is that gonna make it go faster? Is it gonna use less gaz? No, right? Then oh well.

One day after work, i got back to my car to see a huge penis drawn on one of the windows. Damn it. It was on one of the back windows so a window i obviously never roll down so i drove around with my penis for quite some time.
Another day, still on work's parking lot, big letters saying "wash me" ... to which i answered back, also writing in the dust "screw you i like it dirty" :-)
One of the most incredible thing that happened with my dusty car was one day i was in my car, parked, chatting with a friend when this little girl came to my car and start drawing on my hood. I mean come on, i'm sitting RIGHT HERE, what the fuck is wrong with you. I obviously gave her hell to then get hell from my friend telling me that i shouldnt be shouting at a little girl drawing on my car and that i'd rather use the energy to wash it. It was the last time this friend of mine got a ride. Ass.
I also had a guy telling me "i wash your car, i wash your car" (while i was going shopping), no thanks and hearing him mumbling something that really sounded like "stingy filthy bitch" - i had no time nor the will to beat the crap out of him (ok he was also too big for that), another guy who said "i wash your car, i wash your car ... cuz look at it, it could really do with a wash" (asshole, who asked you your opinion), and last but not least, my mechanic to whom i leave the car with so he can change the filters and come back some time laters to a spotless clean car. When i asked him how much did i owe him for the wash, he said "nothing, i washed it cuz it was embarassingly dirty". TOMA.

So yeah, my car is dirty and unless i go live in a place without dust, it'll most probably stay that way. Call it whatever you want, sunblock, invisibility cloak, dust, filth, that i am indeed saving water but let me tell you what it is ... my car is going through a dust experiment and cleaning it will ruin the whole concept of it. There. Any questions? 





PS: best bumper sticker ever read:
" a clean car is a sign of a sick mind"
I NEED IT.


   

Emergency Exit

Today is a cruise ship day. Which means i'm spending most of my day on the pier, in the sun, toasting myself and taking care of guests who, for the most part, have left their brain at home and ask stupid questions (i wrote an entire post about it). Well, today was also a very quiet day on the pier and i was done around 1pm ... well, not done but i had a 3 hours break in my afternoon which is always very pleasant.


So there i was, doing my reports and tomorrow's planning (tomorrow being a cruise ship day as well) when i felt the urge to go to the bathroom. No biggy there. Just at the moment i stood up and head that way, my colleague Jan stood up as well on his way to the little cafeteria to get a bottle of water. Since we were heading in the same direction, we walked together and chatted a bit. But I was kinda hurrying up because I was starting to realize that that egg I ate last night DID taste dodgy. Hurrying up like when you so badly need to go to the bathroom you actually start undoing your pants on the way "just to make sure".


So I was really accelerating my pace when Jan called me (help) asking me to lend him 2 pesos. TWO PESOS he needed. Bloody hell that’s TWENTY CENTS. Not even. And my pockets were full of crap and I couldn’t find the bloody coins in there and I was wasting precious seconds for bloody 2 pesos. Jeez Jan for 2 pesos, they’ll give you credit. Or tell them I’ll be back in 10 minutes to pay them if you’re short on cash.


Needless to say that after the 2 pesos incident, running was a tall order. And I did run. I actually ran like hell. And made it (barely) to the bathroom.


I’m not gonna be describing how it feels when you finally make it to the bathroom when you got the shit, you’ve all been there. It’s a painful relief but a relief nonetheless. And after 15 minutes shitting your guts, it surely should be a relief.


You know the feeling of well being that follows eating when you’ve been starving, drinking when you’ve been so thirsty, sleeping when you can’t even hold your head up and going to the bathroom when you so badly needed it. Well all of my well-being bubble burst out when I realized something absolutely dreadful in such occasion: there was no paper in the cubicle. O_o

In my haste not to shit in my pants, I totally forgot the mandatory checking of toilet paper’s presence in public bathroom. And I was like shiiiiiiit (no play on words intended).

So what am I supposed to do? I mean I’m in a public bathroom, I know nobody in nor would have I had the balls to ask another woman to pass me paper from under the door. So I thought, I’m gonna call Jan since it’s all his fault, tell him to get his ass in the women’s bathroom and pass on a roll of paper under my door. Well if only. But no, sometimes life really is a bitch. There was NO reception in the toilets godammit. I could have cried.

So I waited. And waited. And waited some more, for all of the girls in the bathroom to get the hell out so I could switch cubicle. Damn do women take forever in the bathroom or what? I mean you’re all coming back from the beach, what are you doing for 20 minutes in front of the mirror. GET THE HELL OUT! N-O-W!

Eventually, everybody finally left. Obviously, with an ass full of shit, you don’t pull up your short or your underwear. Don’t even want to think about doing laundry afterwards … eeeeewwwwww. So anyway, as soon as everybody had left, I sneaked peaked outside my cubicle, ran bare-ass to the cubicle next to mine, obviously checked for paper this time (good there’s some in) and locked myself in to wipe my ass properly.
What a feeling :-)

What I think is funny about all this is that when you step out of the bathroom, you always meet people you know, also people you don’t know and they have NOT A FREAKING CLUE of what you just went through. Might as well, asi, me evito la pena!


     

Cravings

Cravings ... mmm ... what? Cravings? You mean cravings like in cravings? O_o

Oh sweet lord.

Well yes, i've been having cravings lately. But i mean, BIG TIME. Cravings for chocolate, for coca cola, for vodka, for salty stuff, for sodas, for eggs with mayonnaise, for goat cheese, for shrimps, for pasta, for french fries, for all the fried stuff i normally hate, for crepes, for coffee and for a lot more stuff that i can't think about right now. Here in Mexico, if you have the bad idea of saying that you crave for something, that you have nauseas, headache, or that you feel the urge to puke, there is only ONE reason for it all: you're PREGNANT.

Fuck no, not me, thanks. I'm taking care of that part. And very well with that. It's not happening unless i decide so. And no, not all the nauseas, not all the headaches, not all the dizziness, not all the vomit are pregnancy related thank god. Jeez. Get a grip! Go out a little, see the world!

But obviously, you think about it. I never have cravings. And i have a boyfriend now. Which means sex. Which means a lot of sex. Very regularly. And obviously, condoms are not 100% bullet sperm proof, we all know that. God damn it, but i so very much WANT this bag of M&Ms, and some skittles, ooooh and a soda. Aaaargh.

My "salvation" came from my student Lili, to whom i'm giving french clases. While she was doing her first exercise, i sneaked at the oxxo to get a bottle of coke water and a healthy snack a bag of yellow M&M (they dont have skittles here ... what kinda service is that?). When i got back, she looked at me and said: cravings? And i said: aja :s
That's when she said the following magical words: oh but i read in a magazine the other day that cravings are just a way for your body to let you know that it needs something it doesnt have. Apparently, you have low sugar in your sytem and that's probably why you want to eat sweet stuff.

HALLELUJAH.

No i'm not gonna investigate this through. I am taking Lili's words for granted. I'm a sugar addict and my stupid asthma treatment doesnt let me indulge in some big ass glass of coke with a nutella sandwich to go along. So yeah, i have cravings. It's not me. It's my BODY asking for what it needs. Is it clear?

PS: damn it, now that i have seen this amazing looking chocolate mousse, i'm craving one! Or brownies. Yeah, brownies with vanilla ice cream on top. Or even better, the chocolate thunder from down under from the outback. Yeah! This one i can never order cuz i'm too full to order desert. I want it, I want it, I want it. Aaargh. Ya me viiiiiiii!

PS2: Treatment ends on March 26th at night. So March 27th will be a celebration: breakfast at Starbucks with the biggest size cup of coffee they have, then lunch at McDonalds with the biggest serving of French fries and the tallest glass of coke (no ice) available and then party all night, drinking all the vodka that comes my way. I might even indulge in a cigarette or two. I love it already !