Today, I went to do my tedious, painful yet necessary grocery shopping. I really wasn’t in the mood for it so went straight to what I really needed, that is dog food and garbage bags. Some other stuff as well but I went mainly for dog food and garbage bags.
I was driving my kart back to my car when the incident happened. I mean I already don’t understand WHO the hell came with the idea of covering a supermarket's parking lot with cobblestones. I mean, seriously? COBBLESTONES?
So obviously, it kinda makes sense that the grid covering the gutter of mentioned parking lot has holes big enough for your kart’s wheels to fall into, doesn’t it?
When I drive my kart back to my car, I generally go slow. Not because I can’t drive it fast but I mean cobblestones and eggs don’t go well together and I already made omelets on a supermarket’s parking lot before. So now I’m cautious. Moreover, I don’t want to hit a car with my kart and then be sued for hit and run. I mean I hate going grocery shopping so I generally load my kart to the fullest in order not to come back for another 3 weeks or so. And just the bag of dog food weights 15 kilos. So I have maybe 30 kilos of shit in my kart and it’s not easy to maneuver it – especially over stupid cobblestones. So yeah, I drive slow but with energy since damn kart weights a lot for me to push it.
But back to my story.
So there I was, driving my kart back to my car, not paying attention to much around me cuz that’s what I tend to do when I walk outside, and bam, I stuck the kart in the gutter. Well, one of the front wheels got stuck in the gutter making the kart come to a complete stop. Obviously I kept on going and hit the kart with all the energy I was using to push it. So pretty damn hard.
I mean I’d be the first one to laugh my eyes out if I saw someone in that situation because I mean, come on, it’s hilarious. People hitting themselves, people falling, people knocking themselves off, people slipping, it’s just plain funny. Period. Well it’s actually funny when it doesn’t happen to you. Cuz honestly, it hurt. And a lot.
I first got the kart’s handle hit me in the stomach (I just had lunch so that wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience). Then whatever part at the bottom of the kart which tried to break my tibia in two, just below the knee where it hurts like fucking hell. And then I have people asking me how the hell do I get all those bruises? I mean look at me! I’m worse than a 6 years old boy playing in a school playground with his friends. I have more bruises and scabs than any of them. I can be so clumsy sometimes.
Anyway. Picture me in the middle of the parking lot, in full blazing sun, hurt up to my soul, folded in two with the pain and nobody around to give me a hand (or laugh – yeah well maybe it was better that nobody was actually around! At least I made a fool of myself without an audience!!)
So sucking it up (just like when you’re a kid and you don’t want your friends to see you cry but you’d run to mummy if you could), I got back to my kart, pulled it out of the gutter (damn kart was HEAVY), well decided to roll it on the remaining 20 meters that we got stopped away from my car.
Obviously fate wasn’t just done with me … bloody kart wheel was all twisted and useless and the kart was obviously not taking any of it. So it’s half lifting half dragging the kart that I walked back to my car. I hated the world. I hated the entire world.
Been home 2 hours already and still haven’t unload any of the grocery yet. Told you I was a useless housewife!
PS: now you understand why I need a personal assistant? :P
PS: bloody K still not working properly! And i mean between supermarket, parking lot, kart, how many bloody Ks did i need? Godammit. Cant even use the F word, it ends with a K too.